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My sister and I took babysitting teamwork to a new level with a family’s three girls who were absolute little devils. One of them gets locked upstairs to grab a juice box, but doesn’t come back. Turns out, she locked us in the basement and launched a full-on food fight and destruction spree while laughing maniacally. Two hours of this madness ended when the parents returned to their upside-down house and their juice-box-wielding mini villain covered in smears of butter, water, and cookies. Awkward? Just a *little*.
So here I am, babysitting two brothers, ages 9 and 12, hanging in the car with their dad. Out of nowhere, the 12-year-old blurts, “Hey dad, don’t sleep with this babysitter hahahaha.” Yep, that’s how the worst car ride ever started. Dad’s reaction? He pulled over, told his son to apologize, and I’m still not sure if he was quoting a movie or just roasting me. Family road trip drama level: expert.
At 14, I was watching my cousin’s two little girls. Their mom was out with her much older hubby (mid-40’s), and when I dozed off on the couch, things got... creepy. I woke up to his hands creeping up under my shirt and him whispering weird stuff. I freaked out, faked being asleep, and finally escaped. Told no one out of embarrassment, but yep, that was my last time with that family.
Babysitting two girls, ages 8 and 6. Their mom was supposed to be home for supper but went MIA, calling drunk and unsure when she’d return. The oldest grabs a huge kitchen knife and runs out into the night—yep, a kid on an adventure! Found her hiding in the yard after a panic-filled search. The mom finally shows up days later, tips $20 (insulting, much?), then her boyfriend delivers a better apology — $150 cash! That family moved soon after. Can’t say I blame ’em.
Babysitting a little chatterbox still learning words. She’s eating bacon when she suddenly plops a piece on her head and proudly declares, “HAT!” Honestly, that’s the best breakfast hat I’ve ever seen.
Rocking shorts with rather hairy legs, I found myself the object of affection for a 4-year-old boy who just plopped down and started petting my legs like I was a furry puppy. Yep, apparently my legs are now a petting zoo.
Babysitting a 4-year-old who’s stuck on the toilet way longer than normal, I’m about to leave when she yells, “You can’t leave! You have to SQUISH me!” Apparently, squishing her tummy was the secret weapon her parents used to get things moving. So, I got down to business squeezing harder (and harder!) until she finally sighed relief—and produced the tiniest poop ever. Yep, I’m officially a baby-squisher now.
Babysitting three little girls—one 4-year-old and twin 2-year-olds. All of a sudden they strip down, sit on the kitchen floor, and the twins start “nursing” from their 4-year-old “mom.” Yep, that was super awkward, really fast.
Babysitting an 8-year-old boy who suddenly appears in high heels, mom’s fancy dress, and a face full of smudged makeup, asking if he’s beautiful. Also? Got paid in bananas once. Adulting is weird.
At 12, babysitting a 4-year-old and a 14-month-old, their mom said she’d be back within 3 hours. Hours passed, day turned to night, and she was still MIA—no phone, no word. So I called my mom to rescue me and the kids. After three days, social services got involved, found mom holed up in a motel next town over, and the kids got custody changes. Spoiler: the story doesn’t end happy, but my mom became a superhero foster mom afterward.
Babysitting a 5-year-old with a clear “do not touch” on the family gerbil, I said no to holding it all night. Later, mom calls saying the kid glued the gerbil to his chest because he wanted chest hair like Dad. How? Super glue, vet visit, and hours of hair and glue removal later, both boy and gerbil survived. True story.
Babysitting a family in rural Tennessee, kids told me mom hid cash in the microwave since the safe was unavailable. One kid used the microwave as a timer *and turned it on empty*, setting fire to a plate of money inside. The result? Several thousand dollars burned up, and me, stunned and broke-just-burned!
Shared some movies with a family’s 3 kids, and the parents immediately vetoed 'Ice Age.' Why? Because as a Christian family, they don’t believe in the Ice Age. Yep, that happened. Babysitting just turned into a history lesson that never was.
Babysitting two boys, 2 and 4. While changing the youngest’s diaper, I’m shown his "toy helicopter." Turns out, it was an unused tampon spinning on a string. Thanks, kiddo, for the heads up.
Got a last-minute babysitting gig for an infant and knew nothing—not the kid’s name, gender, or special needs. Mom dropped baby off, left, and it was up to me to figure it out. The baby woke, needed diaper changes and feeding (picked a formula, crossing my fingers). Parents finally came back hours later, handed $20, and I fled. Mystery solved? Nope, still no names ever.
Babysitting for a dad who showered one daughter with sooo much praise while telling the other she’d never amount to anything—at just 4 years old! If kids came with a mute button, I’d have used it here. Spoiler: names swapped for privacy, but the awful vibe? Very real.
At a family party, a toddler cousin (around 3) decides to full-on start kissing me—mouth and all! I tried to escape, but no luck; she literally jumped on me and kept going. Cute? Sure. Creepy? Absolutely. Fast forward to now—she's a teen and I keep my distance.
Babysitting a 7-year-old who’s upset because I won’t let him visit a friend. Next thing I know, he’s slashing his arms and face, threatening to blame me. I secretly recorded him to prove the truth. Parents fell for his act first, but my evidence saved me. Lesson? Kids can be wild little actors.
Babysitting a 7-year-old girl and her 5-year-old brother when the girl starts pulling his pants down and smooching him. Yeah, that’s a no-go for me. Put a stop to it and quietly declined ever babysitting again.
Babysitting a 10-year-old who somehow got hold of an exacto knife. Kid was running around, I tried grabbing it (bad idea), and got cut. Then he came to me, bleeding like crazy from his own finger. Parents rushed back and took him to the ER for stitches. Bonus: apparently the kid did it on purpose to prove the knife could cut. Weird flex, kid.
I babysat two kids of divorce, a 7- and 9-year-old, whose Christian mom was super strict and dad was obsessed with one daughter, ignoring the other. The neglected boy acted out violently, the girl whispered on the phone for hours to dad, and custody battles were wild. When dad threatened me for following court rules, mom’s response was, “You know what it is...I forgot to pray today.” Spoiler: I quit.
Babysitting two brothers, one older with severe autism who mostly made funny noises, and a younger one. They somehow jammed their heads into opposite sides of a railing. Big sister tried to rescue him by smearing butter all over his head to slide it out. Dad and I called 911 for backup (good call). The mental image of butter-faced kid and his screaming autistic brother yelling 'BUDDER FACE' will haunt and amuse me forever.
Four-year-old Damien barely smiled, told me disturbing things about noises in his head and how Santa could get shot. Yep.
Babysitting two energetic boys who wanted to get bopped in the face with a basketball. Laughs and tears everywhere.
Found youngest cousin underwater, pulled him out, gave CPR. Didn’t tell parents. Hero status confirmed.
10-year-old switched from game to football to basketball every minute. Babysitting survival tip: run.
Got paid $20 for 5+ hours—definitely low. Got driven home by a creepy dad who gave me the weirdest vibes (left as fast as I could). Also, got told it’s okay to drink and drive as long as you use cruise control. Parents, what is knowledge?
Babysitting a 1-year-old and puppy, I find a puddle of liquid near the fridge and assume it’s dog pee. Clean it up and return to the baby, who’s now covered in blood from a cut on his hand he got breaking a cup. Chased the happy, laughing baby all night cleaning blood off him, the couch, and the rug. Mom never called me again. At least the kid was smiling.
On New Year’s Eve, parents drop off a super drunk friend who crashed in the 3-year-old's bed. The kid keeps checking on the drunk dude like a nurse. Another kid almost grabs a vodka glass but I sniffed it out just in time. Parents tipped me $90 for not spilling the party secrets. Best night ever.
As a preschool teacher, I caught a kid suffocating on his own puke during nap time. Rolled him over, cleared his airway, and he started breathing again. I bawled afterward. Kids are awesome but can also be gross little disasters.
Babysit for parents going through a messy divorce. Mom has a zoo at home — two Great Danes, a Pomeranian, and an army of hamsters. One day, mom forgets keys and punches a double-paned sliding glass door to get in. Kids and dogs run wild, glass everywhere, and the door stays broken for months. Parenting goals: questionable.
Babysitting an 8-year-old boy and his 5-year-old sister who promptly strip and jump on the couch. Tried asking nicely for them to stop, but nope. I never told the parents because, honestly, I didn’t know how to say, 'Your kids are pants-free couch jumpers.'
Babysat for two different families where the older brother straight-up hated the younger one. At 14, I couldn’t stop two boys fighting in one, and in the other, a 2-year-old told me, “Brian doesn’t love me.” Yep, a tough gig.
Babysitting a 10-year-old supposed to love sports and video games, but he jumps from Madden to football to basketball in seconds. Every activity lasted less than a minute before switching. After 4 hours of chaos, I got $20 and swore off that kid forever.
Babysitting a 1-, 2-, and 4-year-old where the 4-year-old is autistic and sweet, the 2-year-old jealous. Suddenly the dad comes home solo, throws some creepy vibes about the mom sleeping with my brother, and... I bolt. Later, the house burns down, the baby almost catches fire, and everyone’s secrets explode with it. Yeah, this one’s wild.
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