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Dubai. When I got back, a friend who had lived there asked me what I thought. I said it was depressing and soulless—like a sparkle factory with no heartbeat. He said, nope, you nailed the *real Dubai.*
Las Vegas. It’s all bright lights and glam, but behind the curtain, it’s a tacky money-sucking machine with zero authenticity.
Silicon Valley. Think crazy expensive, way too spread out, and people who seem super polite but also just plain rude once you get chatting. Uber drivers brake-check you for fun. Waiters stare if you hang around too long. It’s like tech bros’ cold, unfriendly kingdom.
Karachi, Pakistan. I saw kids digging through heaps of garbage for food, and the whole city felt like a chaotic, smelly jungle of survival. People begged for pennies, streets were wild to cross, and the city was so polluted it felt like being inside a smoky cloud. Never going back.
Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Imagine starving kids eating mud pies because that’s what’s left. It’s soul-crushing, with endless struggle everywhere you look, and the kind of place that makes you rethink life.
Cairo. If you’re single and female, prepare for everyone trying to scam or harass you at every turn. Walking here feels like being trapped in a super long, dirty prison bathroom. Yikes.
Jerusalem. Sure, the big holy spots are decent, but just one street away, it’s a messy, dirty city that’ll kill your spiritual buzz. Also, Jews and Arabs seem to team up to scam tourists. Not exactly peace, but... teamwork.
Rio de Janeiro. Four days of bad luck: robbed in the hotel by staff, street muggings, bed bugs, even caught in riots. Nightlife? Couldn’t find any decent spots. Basically, the shadiest place I’ve visited.
Beijing. Amazing history, yes. But the smog? My lungs still hate me for those six weeks. The pollution here is no joke.
West Memphis, Arkansas. Got attacked by a mosquito swarm and saw a gas station full of police cars after a skinhead attack. The gas station owner casually mentioned firing shots at the bad guys. Wild.
Johannesburg. Our driver started stashing her jewelry in the glove box because bandits might grab it right off you. The bank we visited had machine gun-wielding guards inspecting us before entry. Intense!
Decatur, Illinois. City council’s best description of the smell: burnt toasty. CNN described the whole place as rancid vomit from a drunk guy. Not a place for a second helping.
Rhyl, North Wales. When I was a kid, I saw a group of rowdy kids threatening a man with Down’s syndrome, telling him they’d burn down his house. Definitely the worst thing I’ve seen.
Gary, Indiana. Got attacked by a pack of dogs at a gas station. No one helped, cops did nothing. Once tried the scenic route, but ended up lost in Gary and never forgot it.
Guayaquil, Ecuador. Apparently express kidnappings and ‘scoping’ with zombie drugs happen anywhere, anytime. Advice? Stay on the Navy ship and skip the city trip.
Kaolack, Senegal. Think garbage piles everywhere, clogged sewers pumping out stinky water, diseases like malaria and cholera running wild, and a blue ring of waste smell you can’t escape.
Tijuana. Got pulled over, arrested fast and sentenced to prison. The city? Hard to tell where it ends and the dump begins. Horse carcasses burning, dust everywhere, and houses made of garbage.
Memphis, Tennessee. Looks rough and feels unsafe unless you’re super into Elvis or Blues. Otherwise? There’s not a lot to do. The Bass Pro Pyramid is cool though, gotta give credit.
Manila. One third of folks live below even Manila’s low poverty line, trash waves flood the bay, and the historic sites? Bombed to bits in WWII. Plus, the air smells terrible everywhere.
Baghdad. Used to have swimming pools, now those pools are filled with trash. Sad to see a city fall this far.
Sinhaloukville. This place is split between shiny new casino compounds controlled by scary gangs and the rest of the dusty, grim city. Known for slavery and scams, it’s a total no-go spot.
New Delhi. Great food and culture mostly hidden under a constant, thick layer of choking smog that dims the sky and hurts your lungs. Pro tip: Get out fast.
Ashgabat. A city that went way overboard on shiny white marble buildings… while a bunch of folks outside are still facing pretty serious poverty.
Kandahar, Bagram, and Mogadishu. So dangerous the government actually recommends you leave DNA samples and name a hostage contact person. Yep, not your average tourist spot.
Alexandria, Egypt. Described as the filthiest spot ever seen by a traveler. Need we say more?
Port Arthur, Beaumont, and Orange, Texas. Just endless swamp, chemical plants, loads of jails, and humidity. Oh, and no good food spots discovered.
Raxaul, Bihar, in northeast India. Electricity for six hours a day, rivers packed with plastic, kidnapping dangers, mud huts everywhere, and streets flooded with garbage every rain. Definitely a wake-up call on life.
Stockton, California. Bankrupt and ugly, packed with crazy tweakers and gang violence. Even stopping for gas here feels sketchy.
St Louis. The Delmar Divide here is crazy—you go from lovely neighborhoods to total ghetto in the blink of an eye.
Luton, UK. Imagine the worst of 1960s urban planning smashed to bits and left to rot. That’s Luton.
Waco, Texas. Crazy hot, nothing to do except stare at a shrine to TV home fixers. Not a great visit.
Dallas, Texas. Crime? Sure. But this city has zero soul, no fun, and is just a fossilized office park with Cowboys fans. Boringsville, USA.
Midland and Odessa, Texas. Straight-up ugly places—like someone took a paintbrush of ugliness and splattered it everywhere.
Naples, Italy. The trash levels here are next level. Seriously, the dirtiest city I’ve ever stepped foot in.
New Orleans. You gotta watch your back and dodge potholes, and it smells pretty funky, but the food and music? Totally worth it.
Jakarta. Sore throat from pollution, terrible traffic, and people living in crazy extremes of rich and poor all mixed together. But it has some good points too.
Youngstown, Ohio. I walked into downtown and thought I was in a zombie movie. No people, log houses getting fixed up, and total silence. So weird.
Flint, Michigan. Guy threatened to stab me over my car. Luckily, he didn’t know how to drive stick, and some good folks helped me kick him out. Definitely a scary moment.
Gallup, New Mexico. If you’re on a road trip, don’t stop here. Just keep driving. You’ll thank yourself.
Houston, Texas. Traffic nightmare and drivers who act like they’re on a mission to ignore all rules.
Blackpool, England. While driving through, a 10-year-old hoodie threw a rock and smashed my windshield. Charming.
Amarillo, Texas. Someone stole the catalytic converter off my truck during an ice storm. Got stranded for nine days in a hotel. Not a fan.
Los Angeles, CA. Super fake and shallow. It’s less about what you do and more about who you name-drop—even janitors brag about whose toilets they clean.
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