30 Hilarious and Surprising Secrets From Postal Workers

We secretly get really happy when you send us envelopes with doodles or funny drawings. It makes the job less boring!

If you’ve got one of those little mail slots in your door, please get a mailbox. Trying to shove ads and magazines into those tiny holes is basically knuckle murder. Also, keep your dogs inside! They don’t want to bite anyone, but they’re super protective, and we have dog mace for a reason.

A friendly "hello" or a bottle of water can totally make a mail carrier’s day. Fun fact: Benjamin Franklin was the very first Postmaster General and USPS loves trying new tech to speed things up — they were basically testing out the first postal trains and cars way before it was cool.

Just because we work at the post office doesn’t mean we know where that ‘lost in Kentucky’ package is hiding. Oh, and if you hate licking envelopes, taping them shut works way better than those fancy stickers. Also, don’t mail candy—it terrorizes our sorting machines!

When it snows, guess what? We don’t fly or magically get to your house when you can’t. Also, your regular mail person probably knows way too much about you but still waves and smiles because, hey, we’re nice!

No, we don’t know if your package arrived yet. Yes, we’re still working through your mail. No, we don’t want to chat about your cousin’s foot surgery. And please stop pretending we’re mind readers or that you could do our job better. Spoiler: you probably can't.

Postal workers walk up to 12 miles daily—that’s like running a mini-marathon! And if you get mail from different people, don’t blame us if you get your neighbor’s stuff—we go by the address, not your life story. P.S. Big, clear house numbers make us happy!

Think your letters glide gracefully? Nope. Your mail gets tossed, pushed, and sometimes squeezed in huge sorting plants. It’s like a wild mail party in there, so don’t be shocked if stuff looks a little wrinkled when it arrives.

Holiday season is basically a storm of packages flying everywhere. We try super hard but deadlines mean some packages get stepped on or tossed around. It’s tough, trust us—we’ve cried over this mail madness before.

You wouldn’t believe how many packages and letters have addresses so bad, it’s like the sender actually wants us to fail at delivering them. Please, folks, big clear address or we’re playing detective.

If it snows, do the mail carrier a solid and shovel out your mailbox! If we have to drive into snow deeper than eight inches, we just say nope, skip your house, and take your mail back with us. Sorry, but it’s true.

Mail delivery isn’t easy, and if dogs are often unleashed and barking, we might just stop delivering to your house to stay safe. Even the friendliest pooch can be a wild card to us.

If you’re at the apartment mailbox and want to check your mail, wait until we get in the truck and drive away. We have a schedule and need to dash to the next stop. Patience, friend.

Insurance for your packages is dirt cheap and super smart. If your precious parcel goes missing or breaks, this is your golden ticket to get some cash back. Don’t skip it!

Grandma, Aunt Sue, or just ‘John’ won’t cut it. We need legal names and apartment numbers or your mail might do the vanishing act. Also, please add a return address just in case!

Here’s a wild one: postal workers can actually get sent to prison if they mess up and don’t deliver mail. That’s right—this job comes with some serious consequences if you slack off.

We’ve heard every version of the ‘hot enough for you?’ joke about a million times. Funny the first 10 times, annoying after that. Please spare us.

If you’ve got even a tiny crime on your record—even if it’s from ages ago—they probably won’t hire you. Like, getting caught sipping beer as a teen? That can be a no-go!

Got different last names in your household? You’ve gotta fill out address changes for all of them, even if you think it’s overkill. It saves us from sending your kid’s school mail to someone else.

Seriously, don’t stop your car and block the mail truck while yelling if we have your mail. That happens way too much and it’s not cool. Also, if you want better mail service, Christmas tips = gold. Oh, and ALL DOGS CAN BITE, so don’t be mad when we’re scared.

Our local post office can't crank the AC because it costs money. They just run a bunch of box fans all over. Imagine working in the Arizona heat with no AC—talk about a sauna shift.

You know those little postal trucks? They’re NOT Jeeps. They’re actually built by Grumman or based on Ford Explorers, but mail carriers somehow still love the old-school ones best. Jeep dispatcher? That’s just a myth.

If you worry about having to sign for packages once in a while, don’t! Yeah, it might add a tiny bit of work, but it’s not like we hate you for it.

From a postal veteran: our trucks are ancient, often break down, and have zero heating or AC. Plus, they’re so understaffed, we’re all working crazy overtime. If you want a desk job, sign us up!

Think mail delivery is just arms out the window? Nope, it’s a full-on cardio, puzzle-solving, dodge-the-dog adventure that deserves way more credit.

Postal workers don’t love lugging around giant, heavy Amazon boxes, especially the middle-aged ladies who get stuck with those monsters. Boxes get tossed more than gently placed, especially around Christmas. Also, don’t get mad if the post office closes just as you get there—they don’t want annoying overtime either.

Surprise! You can actually send live animals through USPS. People have mailed chicks, baby geese, and other critters. Just imagine the chaos that causes.

Believe it or not, a lot of postal workers didn’t finish high school. So if you think this job is just for geniuses, nope—these folks work hard no matter what.

Dropped a pizza off at the post office and watched a guy push a mountain of mail off the table to make space. It looked like a scene from a sitcom where the mail just keeps piling up.

In 2013, to celebrate a reunion, USPS (the band, not the mail service) released a deluxe album with unreleased tracks. Because even mail has an awesome soundtrack.