Wait, They Actually Said That?! 41 ‘Jokes’ From Loved Ones That Totally Missed The Mark

At a party, this girl asked me to fake-date her so some guy would buzz off. We actually had a blast and went on a real date later. After that, she dropped "you're a great fake boyfriend." Ha! Meant as a joke, but ouch - kinda an odd thing to hear after a great date. Years later, we’re married and I call her my "great fake-wife" sometimes for laughs.

In middle school, my fave teacher was teaching WWII and casually dropped, "Do you guys know what Jews look like? They have dark hair and big noses, like [my name]." Whoa. That hit like a ton of bricks. I'm not even Jewish and never cared about my nose - until then.

My nephew once guessed I was 36. Um, I was 24. Thanks for making me feel ancient, kid.

Every time someone new meets my wife, they joke she’s way too pretty for me. There’s that cheeky comment about blackmail or that I’d better shape up so she doesn’t leave. Said with smiles, but dude, it’s not exactly a knee-slapper to my confidence.

My buddies bragged about a theme park having a “Craig free day.” Uh, yeah? I’m Craig. Kinda funny but also, ouch, dude.

People ask what I’m up to and I say construction work. Cue, "What do you REALLY want to do?" or "You’ll find something better." I actually love my job, but it still sometimes feels like I’m getting a pat on the head for aiming low - even from my own mom. Oof.

My close friend was playing matchmaker and said, “If it doesn’t work, it’s cool. You aren’t the most attractive either.” Yikes. Since I was already doubting myself post-breakup, that stung. We ended up hooking up though, so I got some sweet revenge.

I was gaming with friends and there was another Dave. This girl jokingly called me “evil Dave.” I asked why, got zero answers. Like, what did I *do*? Trying to be a good guy and here comes the evil label. That one stung a bit.

After I broke up with my ex, my best friend said, “I was hoping it’d work out - you’re kind of un-datable.” Probably a joke, but dang, it hit me deep. Like, thanks for the confidence boost?

I’m super sensitive about my weight. When my wife once joked about it, I nearly lost it. I told her, “You’re supposed to have my back! If you make jokes about this, I don’t know if I can deal anymore.” Some things just hit home harder from the people you love.

My buddies and I have a ton of playful trash talk going on. During a mountain trip, someone said, “I’m not sure I can handle a whole weekend with you.” We laughed it off but yeah, those words kinda stung each time I thought about them later. Snowball fights and all, but still.

Got hit with the compliment, “You’re not THAT ugly.” Yeah... thanks? Not exactly a confidence booster but hey, I guess it was meant as kinda funny.

A close friend teasing me about being mixed ethnicity, like “you’re half this or half that.” Ouch. I’m dealing with trauma about it. It’s the kind of thing that feels small but hits below the belt.

My metabolism’s so high I've been trying everything to gain weight and I’m still underweight. My family keeps joking I’m “too skinny” like I have some eating disorder. Every holiday it gets louder. I tell myself I’m used to it, but yeah, it still stings.

I asked my girlfriend why she wanted to be with me. She said it was because she’s afraid of change. Yeah, that hit a little weird in my chest.

One of my (former) best friends kinda recoiled, said “UGH! GROSS!” when someone asked if we were dating. Oof, talk about a burn from someone close.

My dad, after a few drinks, said, "Even though I know you’re never going to amount to anything, I will always love you." I’m 32 now, still in a crap job, living in his crummy house. Thanks for the pep talk, Dad.

My girlfriend keeps reminding me I dropped out of University. She works at a school and claims I’m proof you don’t need a degree to make it. I’m all for that, but dude, could you not bring it up every time?

Friends have been calling me “Egg” for years because of my head shape. I’m mostly okay with it now, but when depression hit hard, that nickname wasn’t exactly comforting.

My real laugh sounds like the Batman theme - ”Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na.” People always point out my weird laugh and then I try to shut it down for the night. Not cool, man.

Anything about my teeth stings. I couldn’t afford braces growing up. No amount of jokes about my smile ever made it easier to shake off.

My brother once joked, "Good luck being painfully average - with your average-looking wife, dead-end job, and a mortgage for life." If only he knew that my biggest fear is being unremarkable. That comment echoes in my head every single day.

I had an epileptic seizure and my girlfriend joked she’d leave me now. Joke or not, that one punched a hole in my heart.

I’ve had tooth troubles for years. At a family gathering with Chinese food, I reached for a rib and heard, “You don’t want to bite into that, not with your bad teeth.” That was 14 years ago, and I still wince. Good news: my teeth are fixed now!

She joked, “You wouldn’t get it because you’re an immigrant.” I knew it was a joke, but I’ve always struggled with my identity. That phrase felt like a slap across all my efforts to fit in.

I’ve always sang and played guitar. People say I have a good voice, but my ex drunkenly told me I was a bad singer. That punched my confidence and still creeps into my head whenever I sing - even alone. Thanks, ex.

Almost 30 years ago, my husband told me I had big ears. I still think about it whenever I pull my hair back. That stuck way longer than it should have.

My then-partner was laying out their grand plans to change the world, then dropped: "And then there’s you. You just want to be loved." Felt like the definition of me was just being the lonely half of a couple, easily brushed aside. Blast my existential crisis later.
But hey, not everyone has earth-shattering dreams. Sometimes wanting to be happy and loved is enough.

Female here. I told my fiancé he looked like Woody from Toy Story. Saw the sting but now he calls himself my Woody for life - guess I didn’t hurt him too bad?

Got called a little girl for showing my soft side. Sensitivity doesn’t get much respect sometimes!

I’ve learned to live with my nose but every time someone pokes fun at it, I feel a big “oof” inside. It’s like they poke a bruise I didn’t know was still tender.

Growing up, my mom kept saying she never wanted to make with me the mistakes she made with my brothers. Said it daily for years. Asked her to stop but she never did. Felt like a constant reminder I was a mistake.
She had bipolar disorder and rehabbed many times. Family stuff gets complicated.

A friend once joked, “I think you’re going bald soon.” Now it’s stuck in my head and I think about it all the time.

My sister once said, “Whoever thought that dude would be the breadwinner out of us?” That was over a decade ago. Well, still the least successful out of us three! Zing!

My big dream is to be a racecar driver, even though I doubt myself a lot. So when people joke about my driving, it hurts - I’m reminded of my own insecurities.

In private, she raves about my size and skill in bed. With her friends? Little jabs and remarks. At first, I thought she just didn’t want her girlfriends hitting on me, but that wore off and now it’s just painful.

My teen son roasted me around a campfire at a family friends' place. They’ve known him forever and he’s usually shy. Proud he opened up, but ouch - he called out my real flaws as a dad and person. Definitely hit differently hearing it out loud from the kid I’m trying not to be like.

My ex drunkenly said my roommate/good friend was very attractive. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but the fact she never complimented me hurt all night.

I’m 19 and super skinny (~110 lbs). Almost everyone I meet tries to pinch my wrist and see how tiny I am. I'm not hurt but yeah, it gets old fast.

Got told, “Oh you’re a virgin, I have a lot I can teach you.” Yeah, thanks for the subtle humiliation.

I was talking to this girl seriously. One day she texted she was bored and I said, “Aw, you missed me?” She replied, "I missed your c**k; after all, I’m just with you for really good sex." Ouch. Being just a sexual object hurts, especially with someone you care about.