Wait, They Actually Ranked That?! 47 Hilarious & Crazy Ways to Outsmart Burglars

Imagine going for a frozen lasagna and there’s a dude half stuck in your back window, swinging a stick trying to break in. The homeowner just calmly asks "what are you doing?" and the burglar wiggles out, runs away. Yep. If someone’s halfway through your window swinging sticks, that’s definitely a clue they’re casing your place.

Not from a burglar, but from someone who’s been through it. Aunt’s dog freaked out and ran away right when burglars were hiding around. If your pet suddenly acts like they’re starring in a spy thriller, maybe check for sneaky visitors.

One neighbor got robbed just because they installed a dog flap. Yep, a giant hole that’s basically a 'come on in!' sign. Don’t do this if you want your stuff to stay put.

Some burglars wedge cash on your door to see if you’re home. If the bills stay put, they assume you’re away and plan their heist accordingly. So if your door starts raining money, maybe call the cops instead of celebrating.

Burglars ring your bell at weird hours, then bolt. If no one answers or turns on lights, they assume empty house and fancy a break-in. So, if your doorbell rings at odd hours, don’t just brush it off!

Burglars love pretending to sell alarm systems or flash their 'bibles' to get inside. They gather intel on your security (and maybe where your valuables hide). So next time someone unexpected wants a chat - maybe politely say no.

One bold group moved patio furniture bit by bit like sneaky markers to figure out if anyone was home and when. That tipped them off on the perfect break-in time. So if your chairs start doing their own thing, maybe beware!

Want to keep burglars out? Lock your doors, lock your windows, and close your garage. Yup, it’s that simple.

Burglars sometimes draw tiny chalk marks (like an X) somewhere discreet to mark easy targets or warn each other. If you spot weird chalk art, maybe paint it over!

One person’s daylight robbery often means the whole street’s on the menu. When a neighbor gets hit in the afternoon, just know the bad guys might come knocking for you next.

Burglars often leave tiny clues like open gates, weird trash, or moved objects. They’re not geniuses, just opportunists who look for easy wins. So if you spot oddness, it might be your heads-up!

Burglars might pull the garage door cable so it won’t open, giving them extra time to sneak around inside before you come home. If your garage remote suddenly acts up, watch out!

Many burglaries happen because someone spots an open window or valuables visible from the street. So your best bet? Lock up, don’t flash your treasures, and maybe leave a light on so you look alive.

If you just moved into a new complex, change those locks ASAP. Otherwise, previous tenants or workers might still have keys and wander off with your stuff. #LessonLearned

Unsolicited salespeople scouting your place or leaving visible boxes from big purchases in your trash are giving away clues to burglars about your valuables and when you're home.

Burglars often pretend to be policemen or workers to sneak in. They love basements and backdoors. Also, don’t ignore a sudden spike in flooded houses - usual sign of sneaky stuff going down.

Burglar-proof your home with these wild tips: hide ladders, get solid locks and deadbolts, plant thorny bushes under windows, add motion-activated lights, and lock your bedroom. Oh, and glow-in-the-dark nail polish on locks lets you check from afar if doors are locked. Fancy, right?

CCTV cameras aren’t just for the cops - they catch burglars, package thieves, and hey, even your hilarious snow shoveling fails. They’re cheaper than you think and worth every penny.

If your neighborhood gets snowy, look for odd tracks or shoes around your house. They're often the breadcrumbs burglars leave behind.

Burglars may loosen bulbs on your motion sensors to switch them off without you noticing. So if a bulb looks like it’s about to fall out, maybe check who’s been hanging around.

If you're living out in the sticks with few neighbors, watch for weird cars driving by at odd hours. Install a front door cam - burglars usually knock first (really). Keep your valuables off the go-to portable safes. Good luck!

Sometimes it's not strangers but folks you know. One dude’s buddy was on a bender, sold info to dealers who then robbed the house and demanded money for the stuff back. Drama, right? Keep your circle close and maybe not too trusting.

Burglar rings your doorbell, says “Oops, thought this was my friend’s place,” but we all know that rarely happens. If no one answers, you get broken into. If it happens, report it - maybe you’ll catch the ringmaster!

One family almost got robbed because they joked to a neighbor about an open window during an attempted break-in. Next thing you know, burglars came through that very window. Friendly chat, yes. Full home security briefing? Probably not.

In some places, chalk markings on walls or doors are signals. A 'W' with a line means alarmed property, an 'X' might mean a juicy target. Not endorsing burglary here, but a cat named Dingo would be great sidekick!

If you want burglars to overlook you, get big noisy dogs inside, noise-making alarms, and keep your valuables out of sight. Leaving windows wide open for binocular-spying? That’s just handing out the invite card.

One family noticed flashlights shining at their windows at night, cars lingering suspiciously, and doorknobs being tried. They got robbed within 30 minutes of leaving! Lesson? If you spot these signs, don’t shrug them off.

If burglars see signs like 'Protected by ADT,' they might know how to beat or bypass your system. Playing it mysterious with generic warnings could be smarter.

If you leave your car or house unlocked, you can't call it a break-in. Like the guy who left his car running and came back to an empty spot. Buddy, you gave it away!

Parents’ Douglas fir tree was so big it blocked the front door view from the street. Robbers knocked, no answer, smashed the door jamb. Spoiler: you want a clear line of sight!

Showing off how much you love guns might actually tell burglars your house has valuables that are easy to sell. Keep it low-key and safe!

Neighbourhood watch and police warn about weird marks on gates or fences. It’s burglars' way of tagging your house for a future visit. Spot one? Paint it over and stay alert!

Get some IP cameras with software like Blue Iris. You’ll get instant video notifications when someone’s at the door. Technology for the win!

Ex-burglar admits: they watch who’s home and who’s not, at 3am, 8am, noon, and 3pm. They pick the house that looks empty, wear a mask, smash in, grab stuff, and run. Cameras only really work if they’re visible from outside.

Found dirt on the windowsill, chalk marks outside, and the window locking screws were loose? Someone might've sneaked in for a quick peek and bailed when heard something. Lucky you no stuff got taken!

After a night of egged garages, cops found 4 nearby break-ins. Rottenly creative burglars apparently use eggings to spot houses with dogs and avoid them on the heist. So pups, thanks for protecting the block!

Cameras spotted a car chilling suspiciously, came back at night trying doors. Neighbor wielded a baseball bat and scared the burglars away. Police took the video. Cameras + neighbors = crime-busting dream team!

One person’s killer instinct warned them about a break-in, and yep, a dude was trying to pick their back door lock seconds later. The burglar even stuck around, calm as a cucumber. Trust your gut, people!

Random folks knocking offering newspaper delivery or driveway resurfacing? Could be casing your place. If the visitor acts flustered when confronted, you probably caught a burglar in disguise.

A tip: when a family member passes, have someone watch the house. Burglars check funeral notices and clean out the place when everyone’s away at the service. Creepy, but true.

Sometimes burglars break in just to check out what you’ve got without taking anything. That means they’re coming back for a proper heist soon. Stay sharp!

Some friends used to break into posh houses - not to steal, but to use ultra-fancy showers with like nine shower heads. They’d watch the place for weeks before doing the ‘shower heist.’ Definitely creepy, definitely weird, but also kinda hilarious.

Burglars love spotting new electronics boxes in your garbage - it means you have valuable stuff inside. One guy got robbed in a secure complex despite this, so don’t get comfy!

Roommate thought they saw someone peeking in the window at night. Next thing you know, valuables are gone by morning. Trust those night-vision eyes!“

Some builders leave secret signs letting burglars know which houses have valuables. Plus beware of door-knockers selling paintings or ‘cheaper energy suppliers’ - classic casing moves.

‘Beat the Burglar’ showed pros and ex-criminals robbing houses to teach folks about security. One tip? Don’t keep keys near letterboxes or pet doors - too easy!