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Alright, folks! We're diving straight into some of the funniest, weirdest, and downright unexpected things people blurted out right after anesthesia kicked in. Buckle up, because these moments are pure comedy gold!
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Not a doctor here, but my sister woke up and demanded, "Make this quick, I need to get back to my unicorn before the vortex closes." Fair enough, right?
After my endoscopy, the doctor caught me loudly singing something in ‘French’. Turns out, I only knew the French National Anthem from high school extra credit. Guess I gave the nurses a mini concert!
Some dude woke up shouting love declarations, then went all whispery, "But don’t tell my wife..." Awkwardly, she was right there holding his hand. Awkward!
So, anesthesia is basically a superpower medicine that stops you from feeling pain during surgery. It’s like your body hits pause - you don’t feel a thing while the doctors do their thing. Pretty neat, right?
Getting my wisdom teeth out, I proposed to all five female dental assistants and even busted out the splits, claiming "Flexible redheads make good [love]." Plot twist: I’m 100% gay. Talk about a power move!
I had a lump removed and as I started drifting out, I told the nurses, “I feel like Jesus.” Apparently, my out-of-body moment was shared with them and got a good laugh when I woke up.
My girlfriend, after wisdom teeth removal, wondered aloud, "Do you think they call it sand because it’s between the sea and the land?" Deep thoughts from a groggy brain, pure gold.
There are different flavors of anesthesia! Some just numb a tiny spot, some make you super relaxed but awake-ish, and others knock you out cold like a total lights-out sleep. Your doctors pick whatever fits the surgery best.
During a tooth extraction, I nervously asked the dentist if he liked chicken and dumpling soup. When he asked why, I said, "Because that’s what I look like undressed: pale and lumpy!" Truth hurts, but comedy rules.
Mid-teen me tried hardcore flirting with my female dentist while on laughing gas. She was totally not amused. Also, once high on meds, I called my husband to rave about how fingers are like tiny friends you carry everywhere. Romantic, right?
After knee surgery, I belted out "You are my sunshine" so loudly that my family and nurses heard me way down the hall. My surgeon still calls me Sunshine when we bump into each other. Fame!
Local anesthesia is like a tiny bubble of numbness - you’re awake and chatty, but the spot getting fixed is totally oblivious. It’s what you’d get for stuff like dental work or little cuts. This one rarely leads to funny wakeup talk.
Sedation? That’s the half-asleep, super chill zone where you might barely remember a thing. Perfect for stuff like wisdom teeth or small procedures.
My cousin knocked over the nurse’s paper pad and insisted she should be using a whiteboard "to save the trees, woman!" Honestly, who can argue with that eco-friendly wake-up call?
Woke up from wisdom teeth removal wanting to be released into the ocean to be with my people. When denied, I accused the nurse of messing with me and then did a very unprofessional (but epic) Nicki Minaj performance. Recovery area went from chill to concert real fast.
Getting my surgery prep shot, I was convinced star shapes on the curtains were starfish waltzing in slow motion. I told every staff member, "They're not just dancing. They're *waltzing*." Ballet in the OR, anyone?
Regional anesthesia is like putting a whole limb into snooze mode - think epidurals or numbing from the waist down. You stay awake but feel nada in big parts of your body. It’s weirdly peaceful and a little surreal.
After oral surgery, I cried at my fiancé’s choice of dinner spots, freaking out over a place called Wings & Things. I sobbed, “What other things do they sell there?? WHAT THINGS?!” Anesthesia + hunger = prime comedy.
After my wisdom teeth surgery, I told the nurse I loved short-haired brunettes and that she would be my wife because she was perfect. Let's just say I didn’t have much game back then.
My roller derby teammate broke her leg and after getting pain meds, she went from screaming to flirting hard with the paramedic, joking she'd like him to cut off her pants because "he might like what he sees." Married and serious? Not at the moment!
General anesthesia is the full-on blackout experience. You’re out for hours, no peeking, no feeling. Big surgeries use this one and when you wake up, it’s like you just time-traveled past the whole thing.
After hernia surgery, someone semi-consciously yelled, "MY PANTS. WHERE ARE THEY?" The nurses tried to explain, but the only answer was, "Take me to the room where you’re keeping my pants!" Can't argue with priorities.
My sister’s dentist told her no running for a week after wisdom teeth removal. Her reply? "That’s stupid, I don’t run with my teeth." Logic was never this funny before anesthesia.
My boyfriend, as he was wheeled into recovery, yelled “Honey! You can call me Shrek from now on!” I have no idea why. Months later, when I had surgery, I told him he could call me Fiona. Anesthesia brings fairy tales to life.
Heads up! Even when the surgery’s over, anesthesia drugs like to hang around. That’s why doctors say no driving or heavy thinking right after. Your brain’s still twirling in clouds for a while.
Not a med pro, but a patient who just had wisdom teeth taken out accused the nurse of stealing her tongue. Her mom and the nurse laughed so hard they forgot their duties for a second. Priceless.
BF’s in ICU waking up after hip surgery. Next room’s suction noise prompts him to grin and say “Hey baby, how about some oral suction?” His mom was less impressed, and honestly, so was I.
My family doctor delivered me 60 years ago. After I was born, my exhausted mom suddenly sat up, locked eyes with the doc, and yelled, “DID YOU AT LEAST TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF BEFORE YOU WALKED IN?!” Mom doesn’t remember a thing, but the doc still laughs.
So why do people spout nonsense when waking up? Anesthesia messes with how your brain sorts stuff - memories get jumbled, thoughts bounce around, and your filter takes a nap. The result? Weird, funny, and sometimes sweet rambling.
In the OR, most patients are quiet, but one girl with an airway tube looked at her docs and said, “A girl doesn’t hear that too often…” when they pulled it out. Another patient joked about "Beef broccoli combo special" to a Dr. Chen. Teen boys waking up can turn into wild animals - best held down and told it’s okay. Classic!
Physical therapist named Guy got called 'God' by a patient under meds who then said, “I always imagined God being taller.” She stayed convinced he was God for at least 15 minutes. Talk about an ego boost!
When I went under, I demanded the name of the robot operating on me. After surgery, I asked for the robot’s Facebook info. Sadly, they never hooked me up. Bummer.
Ever heard of emergence delirium? That’s the messy, foggy phase when your brain’s trying to wake up but kinda misses some steps. Folks (especially kids) might giggle, cry, or say the oddest things. Usually, it clears up fast!
On laughing gas, the doctors and nurses turned into cartoon frogs pinching me. When a nurse with glasses showed up, I said, “Frogs aren’t supposed to wear glasses,” and tried to grab them. Totally normal, right?
After wisdom teeth removal, I lined up cereal boxes and yelled, “THIS IS BIRD FOOD, MOM!” Crying drama included. Breakfast will never be the same.
Waking up, my mom asked if I took Tasha to school. It was 7 pm, and Tasha’s my cat. Nope, Tasha stayed home, no school today.
Long story short, waking up from anesthesia is like your brain hosting a surprise party - with emotions and silliness popping up all over. Ready for the goofy highlights? Let’s go!
Apparently, I loudly asked what they do with stuff taken from people - do they burn it? Because if burnt bits get into clouds, then snowflakes must have my intestines in them. Pretty wild to think about!
Big dude here. I have a high tolerance so when I got gassed for wisdom teeth removal, I kept chatting about pie. Finally, I leaned in and slurred, "Just bring out the nurse with the hammer." Then, lights out!
Coming out of wisdom teeth surgery, nurses mentioned a Mexico trip. I got super serious and warned them not to go because there are dragons in Mexico. Everyone laughed, but hey, dragons are scary!
I’m a vet nurse, so no funny humans around me, but when my boyfriend had his wisdom teeth out, the last thing he said was “Don’t worry, I’m CPR certified.” Safety first, right?
"I feel like I got hit by a train!" Guy, funnily enough, actually got hit by a train. Anesthesia wake-up comment or real pain report? You decide.
Before jaw surgery, I was scared and wished my dog was there for comfort. Somehow, that turned into crying over the fear they’d give me dog teeth. Yes, really.
My sister once declared, "I want to eat your face, but take out the teeth." The doctor was definitely creeped out. Fair reaction!
After abdominal surgery, I asked, “How’s my knee? Will I ever walk again?” Spoiler: my knee wasn’t involved, but I was concerned. Priorities!
Woke up telling the nurse she was beautiful and that she and the male nurse “should totally go on a date.” Matchmaker alert!
Once I kept asking if the mask was pure oxygen. They said yes, but I didn’t buy it; I was convinced it was nitrous. Also woke up laughing and threatening to beat up my mom's coworkers. Drama queen vibes!
My friend hurt her neck, and when told she’d get a brain X-ray, she seriously asked if she should smile for the picture. Always look your best, even under sedation!
Took ketamine for a procedure and screamed in post-op for half an hour, scaring patients and staff alike. They needed enough meds to calm down a much bigger person to finally settle me. Tiny but fierce!
In the recovery room after wisdom teeth removal, I started doing squats. When the doctor asked why, I replied, "I’m getting ready for the race, can’t you tell?" Determined and hilarious.
When anesthesia started to wear off during wisdom teeth surgery, I woke up super confused about the masked staff around me. They pushed me back down, and I sobbed for 10-15 minutes, saying, "I'm sleepy, I'm so sleepy." Classic delirium drama.
Woke up panicking I was late for college and sure I’d been abducted by aliens. Refused drinks except tea, because I thought aliens can’t poison tea. Best survival tactic ever!
After knee surgery and a morphine drip, my dad laughed at static, claiming it was the best flea race he'd ever seen. Flea racing, coming soon to your TV!
My wife started speaking Spanish post-surgery. The catch? She doesn’t actually know Spanish, confirmed by a Spanish speaker nearby. ¡Ay caramba!
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