Wait, They Actually Ranked These Wild Historic Moments?!

Back in 1788, the Austrian army somehow managed the ultimate oops moment: they fought a whole battle against… themselves. Drunken soldiers got all confused, shouted in different languages, and thought their own buddies were the enemy. The result? A chaotic brawl that caused twice as many casualties as a real fight with the enemy. When the actual enemy showed up 2 days later, the Austrians had already beaten themselves. Talk about self-sabotage!

King Taejong of Korea had an epic fail moment during a hunt when he fell off his horse. Panicked, he told his historians, "Don't write this down!" Naturally, those historians got busy documenting not only the fall but also his hilarious order to NOT mention it. So thanks to their dedication, this royal oops lives on forever in history books. Way to backfire on the king!

Composer Erik Satie wrote a super short song that he said should be repeated 840 times. In 1963, pianists actually did it - for 18 hours straight! When the music finally stopped, one exhausted audience member shouted, "Encore!" Talk about dedication (or insanity)! These piano players had nothing left in the tank, but hey, the show must go on, right?

In colonial India, to rid the land of dangerous cobras, the government offered cash for every dead snake. Sneaky folks started breeding cobras to collect more money. When officials caught on and canceled the program, breeders just let the snakes go wild, making the cobra problem way worse. Mission failed in spectacular fashion!

In 1927 Liberia, election results were so fishy they broke all math rules. The winner supposedly got 243,000 votes - even though only 15,000 voters existed. That’s like winning the lottery with impossible odds. Spoiler: the guy stepped down in disgrace a few years later. Talk about making up your own rules!

In 1925, a smooth criminal named Victor Lustig convinced scrap dealers he'd been authorized to sell the Eiffel Tower for junk. One dealer paid up, but Lustig ran off with the cash. Bold as ever, he came back months later to sell the iconic landmark AGAIN. Talk about ironclad confidence!

In 1866, Liechtenstein sent 80 soldiers off to guard a mountain pass, and when they came back, there were 81! No battles fought, no casualties - just an extra "Italian friend" who apparently decided to tag along home. The small army had possibly the friendliest victory ever.

In 1932, Australia declared war on emus that were munching on farmlands. Armed soldiers with machine guns went after the big, flightless bird army - only to be outsmarted by wily emus running fast and scattering all over. The birds basically won the war, leaving the military to pack up and retreat. Score one for the birds!

In 1784, a naval showdown went down with just one shot. The Dutch fired a cannonball that missed the enemy ship and hit a soup kettle instead. That was enough to make the opposing ship surrender. Yep, a soup pot won the war. History’s most anti-climactic battle ever.

Meet Mary Toft. In 1726, she tricked some of England’s top doctors by claiming she was giving birth to rabbits. Yep, rabbits. The doc squad was baffled - until a skeptical surgeon found out she’d been sneaking rabbit parts into herself to fake it. Talk about a wild hospital story!

During the Napoleonic Wars, a shipwreck left a monkey dressed in a tiny French uniform washed ashore in England. Trouble was, locals had never seen a Frenchman before and thought this furry guy was a spy. They put him on trial - and even hung him. Now, people from that town are still called 'monkey hangers.' Yikes!

In 1967, Sweden did something crazy - they switched from driving on the left to the right side overnight! At 5 AM sharp, all cars stopped, everyone switched sides, and then drove away. It sounds like a recipe for disaster, but shockingly, it all went pretty smoothly. Talk about a nation-wide traffic jam with style!

Pompeii’s walls don’t just show ruined buildings; they reveal ancient insults and jokes scribbled by the city’s folks. Among the funniest? Burn messages like “Epaphra, you’re bald,” and other petty digs. Turns out, even Romans loved some good old-fashioned shade throwing - just like today’s Twitter wars!

During WWII, a German U-boat sunk not because of enemy fire, but because of its own fancy (and confusing) toilet. The captain messed up the flush, flooding the sub with nasty seawater and toxic gas. They had to surface right away - and well, you can guess what happens next. Note: submarine toilets are serious business. Or, uh, not.

Anne Boleyn may have been fancy and artsy, but she had zero patience for monkeys. When someone gifted her a monkey, she basically gave it the cold shoulder. A courtier even had to send an awkward note explaining, “The queen hates these beasts.” Meanwhile, her predecessor thought monkeys were adorable pets. Different strokes, huh?

Just days before WWII ended, American soldiers and German army guys teamed up to defend a castle holding important French prisoners. They fought side-by-side against the Nazi SS troops attacking them - a rare case of enemies teaming up to fight a common foe. Talk about strange bedfellows!

In 1925, Turkey banned the fez hat to modernize the country. But guess what? People loved their fezzes and weren’t ready to give them up. Riots broke out and fez smuggling became a real thing. So much for a smooth hat transition!

Back when people thought potatoes were weird and not for eating, French chemist Antoine Parmentier pulled a genius PR trick. He planted guarded potato fields in Paris, making everyone think the potatoes were super valuable. Naturally, people started sneaking in at night to steal them - making potatoes the hottest food trend overnight. Sneaky and delicious!

In 1618, some angry nobles got tossed out a castle window - 70 feet down! They survived because they landed in a giant pile of poop. The officials claimed angels saved them, but historians say it was just an epic pile of manure cushioning their fall. Never underestimate the power of fertilizer!

In the 1400s, the Catholic Church somehow ended up with not one, not two, but THREE popes all claiming to be the real deal. One was in Rome, another in France, and a third popped up in Italy. It got so confusing, it was basically the medieval version of that 'Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man' meme. Talk about a pope party gone wrong!

During a heated Senate debate, Caesar got a secret note. His rival demanded it be read out loud, expecting treason! Instead, it was an explicit love letter - from the rival’s own half-sister. Talk about putting your enemy in the hot seat!

When a storm wrecked his giant bridge in 480 BC, Persian King Xerxes didn’t blame nature. Nope, he had his men whip the sea 300 times, chain it up, and *brand* it like a naughty pet. Then he had the bridge engineers beheaded. That’s how you throw a royal tantrum, ancient style.

In 17th-century Netherlands, people went nuts over tulip bulbs. Prices got so high that some bulbs cost more than a house! Then, boom - the market crashed, leaving broke tulip fans everywhere. It’s history’s OG crazy economic bubble, and yes, it all started with flowers.

In 1945, General Patton was told to skip the city of Trier because it’d take four divisions to capture. Nope, he took it with just two and sent back a classic: “Have taken Trier with two divisions. Want me to give it back?” Military mic drop!

Young Julius Caesar got kidnapped by pirates who wanted 20 talents of silver. Caesar laughed, said, "Nah, make it 50!" They agreed, got paid, and freed him. Then Caesar hunted them down, captured them, and had them crucified. Talk about turning the tables!

Surgeon Robert Liston was fast - too fast. During an amputation demo, he accidentally sawed off his assistant’s fingers and scared a spectator to death. The patient and assistant also died later. That’s a 300% death rate! Not his best day, huh?

In 1325, the rivalry between two Italian city-states boiled over after soldiers from one side stole a single bucket from the other's well. Yes, a bucket. That tiny heist kicked off a full-blown war, and the victorious city still proudly shows off the stolen bucket today. History sure has a weird sense of humor.

In 1920, Eugene V. Debs ran for president while locked up for speaking out against WWI. Even without leaving his cell, he pulled nearly a million votes. Prison campaign? Unstoppable!

In 1989, the U.S. surrounded Panamanian dictator Noriega’s hideout and blasted loud rock music non-stop, including Guns N' Roses. After ten days of relentless noise, he gave up. Proving sometimes the best weapon is a killer playlist!

At the first big Civil War battle, fancy folks from DC packed picnics and opera glasses, thinking it’d be a fun show. Turns out, it was a bloodbath. The picnic ended in chaos as they scrambled to escape. Talk about underestimating the drama!

The Americans fired a few shots at Guam’s fort. Instead of fighting back, the Spanish officers sent a boat over to officially say sorry - they were out of gunpowder! They were shocked to learn war had actually started and that they were now prisoners. Oops!

William Henry Harrison gave the longest inaugural speech ever in freezing rain without a coat, then caught pneumonia and died a month later. The shortest presidency ever, all thanks to stubbornness and bad weather.

In 1856 Panama, a drunk American grabbed a vendor's watermelon slice without paying. This small act blew up into violent riots and led to U.S. troops taking over the city. Talk about melon madness!

In 1922, New Yorkers took their hat rules seriously. Men wearing straw hats after Sept. 15 were fair game for hat snatchers. Things got so wild, police had to break up full-on brawls over headwear. Fashion crime? Absolutely.

General Hannibal pulled off one of history’s wildest moves by trekking 37 war elephants over the snowy Alps to surprise the Romans. Sure, lots of his crew and elephants froze or dropped out, but hey, that’s hardcore commitment to a sneak attack!

In 1905, Colorado somehow managed to have three different governors in one day. One won the election, was booted out for fraud, his opponent got the job but immediately resigned, and the lieutenant governor finally took over. Confused? Same here.

In 1976, the U.S. tried to prune a single tree in the Korean DMZ. North Korean soldiers didn’t love that idea and killed two American officers. So the U.S. came back with tanks, helicopters, and B-52 bombers just to finish the job. All because of one tree. Talk about taking things personally.