Yep, Some Parents Regret Having Kids — And Here’s Why

Okay, being honest but anonymous here. I was the guy who loved kids but knew I never wanted my own - until my wife caught the baby bug in her 40s. After lots of struggles and IVFs, we finally had a son. Outside world? Looks like a success story. Me? Secretly drowning in resentments and depression. Nothing was spontaneous anymore, everything had to be planned. Friendships? On pause indefinitely. Work? Missed way too much. Anytime the kid was sick, everything else stopped.
Therapist says lots of people feel this way but it’s major taboo to admit. Googled “I hate being a parent” and - surprise! - it’s a thing.
Am I a bad parent? Nope - people say I’m attentive and affectionate. Love my son? Yup. Just wish someone else enjoyed the parenting gig. Honestly, it felt like faking enthusiasm daily for something I hated. Crazy exhausting.
Wife struggled with this too, which strained our marriage. I’ve considered leaving but can’t imagine abandoning my kid.
Writing this for anyone who wonders whether they’ll love parenting. It’s okay to admit if you don’t. And if you get mad for saying it? Sorry, I love my kid but parenting made me unhappy. That’s the brutal truth.

Yeah, my son is 27 and struggles with chronic depression. He’s stuck in a dead-end job and life feels like one long sad song for him. Had I known how tough his life would be, I might not have chosen to have children. I wanted him to experience joy, but that’s been a rare visitor. Just wanted to clear up some things - I don’t resent him, nor do I blame him. I love him, and we’re a supportive family. It's been rough, but I still hold onto hope.

So here’s the punchline - I love my kids, but cried over choosing the wrong partner. Their dad was a loser with no goals, and it cost my kids a good relationship with their father. I did it alone, and yeah, I still get embarrassed about those choices. But it’s the partner, not the kids, I regret.

I loved my four kids, especially their creative, quirky nature. But as an introvert with sensory issues, I needed breaks - just a little quiet time to recharge. My husband and in-laws didn’t get it. They called me a bad mom for asking for five minutes to shower or for letting the kids explore and make messes.
People tore down my artwork, ignored my mental health struggles, and accused me of being crazy. I tried meds, therapy - you name it. But I was shattered. Even lost my home and contact with my kids for years. I was judged harshly for being different, quiet, needing space. It crushed me.
I regret the pain, not the kids. They deserved better. Sometimes society doesn’t get that moms are human too.

Yes, I do regret it. My daughter was the best thing ever, and being her dad was my pride. But then she changed completely and stopped talking to me. No pain compares. So yeah, I regret having her. Deeply.

Here’s my story: Before kids, I said no thanks to marriage and kids. Later, got married, had two kids. Great kids - smart, kind, compassionate. Youngest just finished high school, oldest is in college. But the world’s a mess today. I still love them but sometimes feel it was a mistake. Life’s been tough on them and me.

Heads up: parenting isn’t all black and white. Sometimes we regret, sometimes we’re ecstatic. I have those moments where my kid drives me nuts - crying nonstop, trashing stuff, lying, running wild. There were days I wanted to lock her in a room (not really) just to catch a break.
Yet, I love her like mad. The jumbled, exhausting days make the joyful moments - like reading her first book or watching her ride her bike - shine even brighter. Nothing’s perfect, but these are memories I wouldn’t trade for the world. Though, really, can she just put her shoes away once in a while?

I regret not being mentally ready to be a mom. I tried my best, but life was tough and I married someone abusive - unintentionally putting my kids through pain. I believe in reincarnation and that maybe they needed these lessons, but it still hurts.
My oldest carries a gene for a terrible disease and knowing what’s coming is heartbreaking. I wish none of this had to happen.

I got pregnant at 17, totally unprepared and selfish then. Husband left after marriage. I raised kids on welfare, gave custody to my mom and later their dad until he died. I finally kept my fourth kid, and he’s doing well. The others not so much.
Condoms? Turns out the ex-husband won that game, poking holes to have more kids. If I’d had kids later, I’d have done much better. Now, I help them as much as they’ll let me, understanding why they keep their distance.

Did I ever regret kids? Oh yes, during hard times - like when Max wouldn’t latch or cried nonstop those first 18 months with postpartum depression.
9/11 hit when our youngest was 10 weeks old, and it shook me to think about the scary world my kids were growing up in. Sometimes I wonder if we’d have had a second child if we’d known.
Even my kids themselves question what raising them in this world means. But honestly? I love them endlessly and wouldn’t trade a moment. I just wish the world was a little kinder.

Yes, I regret it. My child deserved a better life than I could give. I did the best I could, but it wasn’t enough. Society doesn’t support families well - especially single parents like me (my partner passed away). Work was a nightmare, medical bills crushed us, and my health took a dive from the pregnancy and all that stress. Parenting takes a village, but where’s that village when you need it?

I have five daughters and survived an abusive, arranged marriage that took me far from family. Our oldest daughter died at 6 from a rare brain cancer. The grief fractured my relationship with my other kids. My youngest was abused and now struggles with mental illness, estranged from family.
One daughter is fighting rare illnesses and back problems, another emotionally distant. I truly love them all but the journey’s been heartbreaking and lonely. Sometimes, I envy those without kids - their freedom and peace.

I totally regretted becoming a mom at first. My childhood was pretty rough, and motherhood didn’t come naturally. When my son was born, I was scared and guilty. I had to force myself to feed, play, and care for him. Seeing other moms rocking it made me jealous.
But now, he’s almost 17 - a smart, funny, kind young man. I love him dearly. Looking back, I realize I was meant to be his mom, even if it was a rocky start.

Oh yes, I do. I wish I never met their mother. Later her lying, thieving husband made my life miserable. If I had a quiet life with a couple of dogs like my buddy Gussie, I’d be happier.
Tips? Don’t lend money to adult kids. Don’t co-sign their loans. And never, never buy shady annuities from their spouse. Learned that the hard way. All could have been avoided if I just said no.

My kid’s 7½ and I realized at 2 that peace was gone forever. The nonstop questions, the 'I’m bored', the lost pencils - it never ends. He’s like a curious raccoon, tearing through everything. No quiet time exists. I try to stay calm, but sometimes it’s like, “Go away!”
Then there’s the bills, insurance, toys, childcare. With Covid, even working means juggling him 24/7, helping with basic stuff like homework and pencil picking. Want to chill, watch movies, or read? Kiss those moments goodbye for 18 years!

Of course I've had moments where I regretted having kids - especially those first months of nonstop crying, zero sleep, and terrifying confusion.
Having a kid means endless work and exhaustion. But then they grow up and slowly pull away - losing that constant need for you, which stings but is meant to be.
Despite every struggle, there’s something really rewarding if you wanted the kids in the first place. Would I trade it? Nope. But I’m human, so yeah, I regret some of the costs.

My daughter turned one, and this past year has been really tough for me and my wife. We’re young, had zero time to ourselves or date nights. I find myself wishing life was more free and less responsibility-filled like before she arrived. We love our kid and are ready to give her the best, but sometimes I catch myself thinking life without her would be easier for us both.

I regret having kids sometimes. My childhood was rough - abuse, trauma, and all. Motherhood didn’t come naturally, and my 3-year-old’s delays and constant screaming drain me. Social isolation, no support system, and past trauma make it tough.
I used to be a free spirit with friends and hobbies. Now I’m drained and sad thinking about the tough road ahead for my daughter. Still, I love my children deeply and can’t picture life without them.

I regret becoming a stepparent. The kid’s biological dad was a terrible person - mentally unstable and abusive towards my stepson, calling him names and treating him horribly. I’m thankful every day my biological son didn’t have to endure that. Love my stepson like my own, but it’s heart-breaking seeing what he went through.

Not gonna be politically correct, but here goes: all my friends with grown kids but one say they wouldn’t do it again. I feel the same. Dogs love you unconditionally, don’t cause nearly as much stress, and appreciate what you do for them. I regret having my kid - dog life is way better.

I love my kids fiercely and can’t imagine life without them. They’ve taught me so much and bring endless joy. But I feel tons of guilt for bringing them into this crazy world that just keeps getting harder.
It’s scary - things like pedophilia normalization are beyond sickening, and it feels like no one cares. Kids aren’t safe, and schools teach what to think, not how. I worry and feel guilty every day.

I had a horrible childhood - abuse, neglect, and zero affection. I wasn’t ready for motherhood at all. It felt like living in an itchy, ill-fitting suit every day.
I loved my child deeply and tried to give a loving environment, but I felt inadequate, like I was faking it. I wasn’t ready for the emotional weight. I wish I’d healed myself first; maybe then parenting would have been easier.

My marriage ended in betrayal and chaos. I worked two jobs to support my family, only to be cheated on and lose custody due to unfair laws at the time. My kids blamed me, resented my new wife, and I lost nearly everything - including my home and financial peace.
My stepkids, on the other hand, thrived. My biological kids? Not so much. It’s been a heartbreaking ride, and sometimes I regret the whole thing. If I could do it over again, I wouldn’t have stayed.

There have been plenty of times I thought maybe I shouldn’t have had kids - not because I don’t love them, but because I’m kinda selfish and short on patience. Putting their needs first is tough, especially the fun stuff. Like, honestly, do I wanna go to the children’s museum right now? No.
Also, I hate being touched and these little guys just wanna snuggle all the time. I love my kids, but yeah, maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a mom.

I had my daughter at 19 and she’s 9 now - my blessing. But sometimes I get depressed and stuck, torn between parenting and my own dreams of exploring the world. My daughter struggles with change, unlike me who craves adventure. I’m stuck until she’s done with school, and it breaks my heart. It’s a heavy load, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything.

My youngest daughter has had two widowed husbands. Watching her go through so much pain breaks my heart. Even years later, she’s emotionally fragile. We have a good life financially, and she’s surrounded by family and friends who love her - but the losses weigh heavy. Sometimes I wish she’d never been born, so she wouldn’t have had to face that misery. But I cherish every moment with her.

I love my two daughters with all my heart, but abuse from their mom and her partner broke their spirits. The police and child services got involved, court battles ensued, and custody finally went to me. My youngest daughter struggles with self-harm and eating disorders thanks to the trauma.
Even though the older daughter is doing better, my youngest’s pain is heartbreaking. She’s even tried to take her own life. I love them but wish none of this had happened. Parenting this way is a nightmare of heartbreak and stress.