These Roasts Are So Clever, They Sneak Up on You

I can see you are committed to your current level of understanding.

I admire your courage to speak in the absence of knowledge

Your approach to critical thinking is impressively minimalistic

"I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong"

"I admire that you don’t let facts interfere with your opinion"

I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.

Thank you for helping me, it was like doing it myself only harder.

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

It's impossible to underestimate you.

I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

The bar is set so low and yet you brought a shovel.

I'm jealous of everyone that hasn't met you.

My all-time favorite, "You have delusions of adequacy".

When someone says "do you know who I am," my favorite reply is "no, but I bet those who do are envious of me."

Don't let my knowledge get in the way of your confidence.

Your contribution to this conversation is like a cat bringing me a dead mouse. I can see that YOU'RE proud and I love that for you.

You're the reason instructions have pictures.

You wouldn’t be able to pour water out of a bucket if the instructions were on the bottom.

Nothing lights up a room like your absence.

You've mastered the tone of authority without the inconvenience of depth.

Someone said I ate the bowl of wisdom with a fork.

I respect your tenacity in protecting your opinion from the facts.

Somewhere out there is a tree working tirelessly to provide you oxygen to breathe and speak… I believe you owe it an apology for wasting its efforts.

I wish I didn't have common sense, you seem so happy.

As an outsider, what are your views on intelligence?

“The majority of people would certainly agree with you” is the maddest anyone has ever gotten at me.

It was wonderful to meet you, you’ve made me reconsider my standards.

You are our competitors’ greatest asset.

The reason you get so lost in thought is that it’s unfamiliar territory.

Listening to you speak makes me envy the deaf.

My favorite one from that thread was "You fill a much needed void."

Some people bring joy wherever they go. Others, whenever.

Don’t be embarrassed about who you are. Leave that to your parents.

It's interesting what you've done with your education.

It's cute how you state the obvious with such a sense of discovery.

I won’t argue, you seem very committed to this version of reality.

"You're truly unforgettable to everyone around you. Trust me, we've tried!" "You sure are proud of those 8 pretty crayons in your 64 pack, huh?" "That's very brave of you to have that opinion in this day and age."

Your food for thought leaves everyone still hungry.

I admire your consistency; most people stop when they realize they're wrong.

You have a unique way of speaking that makes people appreciate your silence.

Your Holidays are our Holidays.

You may need to take a break from sharing opinions today.

You haven't been yourself lately - we've all noticed the improvement!

You're proof that this company is an equal opportunity employer.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why you appear bright until you speak.

You are living proof that God has a sense of humor.

Your mind is such a peaceful place, no thoughts to bother you.

The only reason I understand you sometimes is because I studied Animal Science.

I'll come visit you again when I need a break from reality!

Wisdom has always chased you, but you were faster.