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A coworker called out because he had to donate plasma to get money to buy food. He hadn’t eaten in two days but wanted to make sure his kids had food. When I found out later, I gave him $100 and drove him to the store. Talk about dedication!
A buddy said he’d be late because a cat was chilling on his car. Turns out, a huge caterpillar excavator fell on his ride from a badly parked trailer. He got a new car, but that call-out? Totally epic.
My husband missed work cause one of our goats went into labor wrong. He had to hold the goat so I could help the baby get into position. Boss didn’t believe it until my husband sent a photo proving the crazy animal mid-birth situation. Proof is everything!
“Can’t come in, my fish is giving birth.” Sounds bonkers, right? But this fish was extinct in the wild and really needed alone time because it eats its babies if left together. Who knew fish drama was a thing?
I was a lifeguard and one guard called in late saying she was saving a bird that fell in her pool. She came back carrying it in a laundry basket, and we all took turns babysitting our new feathered friend. Talk about a memorable break!
A guy missed work because a spider bit him so bad they had to cut a chunk out of his hand. The spider? A whitetail that caused a nasty reaction. His nickname? “Spider Matt.”
A coworker said her cat hid her car keys. A week later, I caught one of my cats carrying my car keys around the house. Cats: masters of sabotage.
My skinny coworker called in saying she got attacked by a group of guys and sent two of them to the hospital. I thought it was a joke until she got sued for excessive force. Turns out she’s a black belt in martial arts. Size ain’t everything!
A guy kept calling in saying his grandmother died. It was all true... except it was three different grandmas, two of whom were lesbians and very much alive. Talk about recycling stories!
I called in because my cat got stuck inside my desk. My boss could hear him yowling on the phone and tried really hard not to laugh. Poor kitty!
Got to work super late because the steering wheel fell off my car! I even put the steering wheel on the roof to show folks. My managers thought I was joking until a coworker confirmed it for them. That’s one way to make an excuse stick!
One time a server called in because her chinchilla ate her wallet. She said she wouldn’t drive without her license. Manager sent someone to pick her up instead. That’s a first!
"I had a baby on the side of the road." She was pregnant and didn’t know it until the baby arrived, healthy and happy. That’s one heck of a surprise call-out.
I had anterograde amnesia episodes that made me forget I’d called out. I showed up three times ’cause my brain kept forgetting. My coworkers ended up walking me home and tucking me in. They were absolute legends.
Just weeks into a new job, the police served a no-knock warrant at my house - wrong one! They smashed my door in and I couldn’t replace it the same night. My boss thought I was making it up until I showed proof. Wild start to a job!
I had to miss work because I got bit by a bat and needed rabies shots ASAP. Definitely not your everyday excuse!
Someone called the office, said "I’m not coming back today or ever." Then nervously laughed and hung up. She later inherited a fortune and disappeared. Goodbye, mystery lady!
The morning after a snowstorm, my cheap ice scraper broke and a metal chunk flew into the snow. When I backed out of my spot, I ran over it and shredded my tire. Called in and gave up. Classic snowy day fail!
One guy was late because he tore the door handle off and couldn’t open the door to leave his house. He even brought the broken handle to work with photos to prove it. Dedication to excuses is real!
I couldn’t come to work because my apartment was overrun with bedbugs. I didn’t want to hitchhike those pests to everyone else. Worst excuse or best excuse? You decide.
A Navy guy couldn’t come back on time after leave because he’d gotten too heavy to fit into his uniform. No pants in his size! He had to borrow some from a retired Seabee. Weirdest reason ever, and I laughed with him, not at him.
A friend went out partying, met two Czech girls, and insisted on escorting them home - only to realize later the train took him all the way to Prague! Proof photo saved the day and excused him from work that day.
I was hours late because a garbage bag filled with used cat litter burst all over my car seats. You can’t exactly roll up to work smelling like a litter box, right?
She couldn’t come to work because her neighbor’s bull got loose and she had to help herd the big guy back home. That’s some serious S.O.S. action!
I missed work ’cause my car keys were scattered across three states - one with me, one with my brother in New York, and one with my sister in Wisconsin. It took photo proof to convince my boss and $250 to replace a key. Wildest day ever.
One coworker called saying a squirrel ran up his chimney. No follow-up story, but imagine that! Another coworker missed work ’cause she accidentally took half a sleeping pill instead of vitamins. Oops!
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