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Hey there! Today we’re diving right into the quirky, awkward, and downright bizarre world of first dates that went from zero to nope fast. Buckle up!
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He drove me home, my dog happily went to say hi, and guess what? He kicked her. Yep, right off the bat.
CyberBit:
I’d have lost it immediately. Who kicks a dog on a first date?
We went to a fancy steakhouse, and the moment the food arrived – he picked up his steak and started eating it with his hands! Yeah, just like a caveman.
Unumbotte:
That’s just Derek being Derek. We've mostly got him to stop biting the waiters now.
She showed up, said my name, and hit me with: “If you’re not planning to propose in the next 6 months, you’re wasting our time.” I was like, well, that escalated quickly. Walked out.
CraftsyDad:
That’s one heck of a red flag from space.
Got into a rage because I was 5 minutes late despite me texting about the Metro delay. Confessed he punches walls when angry. Yeah, that’s a no.
Bonus: Later I met my future husband at the same spot. So plot twist!
She claimed to be a designer dog breeder and casually told me she had a 'wrong' litter of puppies that day... and then got rid of them. Yeah, I’m still stunned.
Meeepyy:
That’s definitely a crime scene.
He talked nonstop about his fancy job, never glanced my way for a question. The whole date was him, all him.
DigNitt:
I once dated a girl who replied one-word everything, didn't ask me a thing, then texted me to say I talked too much. Oof.
We were set for a nice restaurant where meals aren’t cheap. She asked if her friend could tag along. Nope, canceled.
miraculum_one:
Pro tip: Agree, don’t show, ghost them. Instant revenge!
Tried to pressure me to leave and go home with him. When I said nope, he slammed his drink and bolted. Immediate red flag alert!
We grabbed ice cream to chat, and her opening line was: “How much money do you make yearly?” Yikes.
Chemical-Swing-420:
Heard of women demanding full financial disclosures. Privacy? Never heard of it. Perpetually single, guess why.
He thought using condoms magically made him a virgin. Wait, huh?
SvenBubbleman:
Know a guy praying for virginity back. Yeah, really.
She bragged about helping her best friend cheat on her husband for over a year. Loyalty level: Questionable.
thelaidbckone:
Once heard someone excuse silence on cheating because she knew the 'cheating' friend better. Yeah, no second chance.
He showed up 20 minutes late on purpose (tension builder, he said) and then confessed he was in MLM marketing. Cool story, but I switched gyms.
Healthy-Garlic364:
MLM hype is the best silent comedy.
He literally told me over dinner, “By the end of this date, you’ll want to come home with me.” Big nope. Turn off overload.
He asked if I was 'one of those women’s libbers.' Cue facepalm.
Pandaburn:
Women’s lib? That’s... old school.
unrepentantgeraldine:
Was he a time traveler from 1943?
“Oh, that photo’s old and I’m older than I said, plus I hid the fact I have 2 kids...” A triple date fail!
Cltspur:
Oh, and she stalked me for months after. Wild.
I told him the café was packed and I was waiting without a coffee. He strolls up with coffee for himself only, sits down, and thanks me like he did me a favor. Rude much?
She got blitzed, put it on my tab, got angry, tried to punch me, fell down stairs, then blamed me to cops. Definitely a date to forget.
Great first date, then after I got home he blew up my phone with 82 calls and texts. Talk about clingy!
He checked his phone the whole date but got mad when I glanced at mine once. Classic hypocrite!
letsmakeart:
I was expecting a friend’s baby news update. He thought I was bored. Nope!
She pulls out her psychiatric clinic stay report as soon as we sit down. Talk about oversharing!
Unumbotte:
Small talk, anyone? No? How about colonoscopy videos next time?
Instant deal breaker when someone’s rude to waiters or staff. Just no.
Wedgerooka:
Next up: not returning carts at grocery stores.
He sucked water through a straw then blew it straight at me at the restaurant. Guess what? That was our first and last date.
1) Got grilled for wearing jeans instead of dresses.
2) Told to lose weight for swimsuit discomfort.
3) Bonus: Another guy bragged about shoplifting. No second date for all.
She went all financial advisor on me: stocks? Bitcoins? How much? Sorry, lady, I want a partner, not a treasure hunt.
Showed up uninvited to an event, lost his phone in his messy car, and made me call it so he could find it. Creative way to get my number? Maybe.
He lied about being tall, expected me to massage his feet after work, made me pay for dinner, and tried to get close despite me saying no. Nope, no thanks.
He chatted about the second coming of Christ (and I’m an atheist), called himself wife-hunting, then said he’d pay this tiny $11 bill now and I’d owe next time. Soup’s not a meal, buddy.
Profile said no kids but last-minute he tells me he has a son he just changed in the car. I ran and blocked faster than a flash. No regrets.
Talking trash about all their friends and fam early on usually means baggage city. Hard pass.
Michael_Stevens-:
If they start badmouthing right away, run!
Showed up at a pizza place with his friends I didn’t expect. Turns out they were all from a halfway house and had a day pass. Surprise!
Constantly bragging about his ‘amazing’ parenting, then got mad when I walked away paying my part. Ended the date and got blocked. Classic!
She randomly mentioned her dad was special forces and would 'end me' if I messed up, had a mini weapons collection, plus pet tarantula and snake she threatened me with. Date: over.
Matched with a friend's sister, things were fine until she casually dropped that she does coke '3-4 times a month.' Mmm yeah, that’s basically every weekend.
Never knew gay guys could throw random racist digs until I started dating. Yeah, no thanks.
datkittaykat:
Also experienced similar. People can be clueless.
A date who doesn’t ask a single question and just talks about themselves? Run and don’t look back.
We went to the park because he has a kid. I clicked with the kid, but he got all pouty jealous. Awkward first date vibes.
W1ldy0uth:
Introducing the kid on the first date is a bit much.
cupholdery:
Yeah, he’s still single for a reason.
She downed an entire bottle of wine in the car before we even hit the bar. That’s a red flag sprint.
She started telling how she stalked a married paramedic who helped her. Yeah, I ended it early and blocked her. Too much crazy.
Halfway through dinner, she reveals her parents were sitting right next to us listening in. Then we all went to a bar where I was the only one drinking. Very wild.
1) Heavy trauma dumping.
2) The classic "If you don't mind, can I ask you a question?" usually means trouble ahead. First date etiquette fail!
He said he was a lawyer, then added "the bad kind." Not sure if that’s a joke or a red flag.
She kept asking if she was the prettiest girl I’d ever met. Spoiler: she wasn’t.
reflect-the-sun:
A power move to control the vibe.
She ordered two apps, an entree, two desserts, and four cocktails, devoured all of it, then claimed she wasn’t feeling well and bailed. Smooth.
Kept insisting on “one more” drink despite me saying no multiple times. Eventually I gave up and just let it sit there. Nope.
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