47 Times Docs Couldn’t Believe People Were Still Kicking

Upstate trauma? This guy got shot THREE times right in the head. One eye popped out, blood everywhere, looked like a goner. Wait for it... He tilted his head back and went, “Yoooo be gentle!!” Everyone screamed. Turns out the bullets missed his brain every time. How?!

Not a doc, but this person was born with a heart blood vessel missing (super rare). Their heart basically rerouted itself in a wild way so they could play lacrosse for 4 years with no clue. They only found out after a full-on heart attack from blowing their nose! Doctors were baffled, saying usually people don’t make it past birth with this condition.

An orthopedic surgeon’s tale: a couple tried an in-home abortion by... driving over it with a car. The girly bits took quite a beating but they both survived. Let's just say, maybe skip that 'DIY' approach. Yikes.

In Aussie outback, a super drunk, 150kg lady got ejected through a windshield, laying there for 3 hours in 2°C cold! Her scalp was basically peeled off, no blood pressure or oxygen trace, totally unconscious, and her airway was a nightmare. But somehow, she didn’t die! They called it the scariest rescue ever, but yeah, she made it and left hospital just fine.

Not a doc but was reading charts when I found this legend: a 90+ rancher got struck by lightning, crashed his 4-wheeler, was bitten by a rattlesnake, AND then had a heart attack - all on the same day. He went to the hospital for 4 days and bounced home like it was no big deal. How?!

When I was an EMT, we found a guy after a motorcycle vs SUV accident. He was face down in a pool of blood with his heart literally visible through a giant chest wound and a collapsed lung - and all of that stuff was still intact! He somehow survived and even showed up years later minus an arm but alive and kicking.

Doctor here: A motorbike dude was cruising along when a logging truck lost its load of logs. Guess what? He just let go of the bike, rolled off, got a few bumps, and walked away. Also, a 92-year-old with a blood infection was expected to die, but woke up the next day hungry - talk about beating the odds.

EMS here: A motorcyclist smashed into a minivan parked on the side of the road at 80 MPH, flew through two windows - yet he walked away with no broken bones or head trauma. Helmet = lifesaver!

I have a condition where my pancreas goes wild and drops my blood sugar crazy low. One time, paramedics had to revive me after my blood sugar hit 10 mg/dl (that’s like nearly d*e level). After coming back to, I joked about turning into a zombie. Hey, dark humor saves lives, right?

Walked in the street, got hit by a car, flew into traffic, bounced off two cars, got pinned under a third, and only ended up with a dislocated shoulder and a broken thigh bone. Weird flex, but okay!

Friend took off his helmet to tie his shoes before mountain biking, pedaled 10 feet, then BAM! Hit by a car. He ended up with major brain bleed pushing on his brain - only a 20% chance of survival - yet woke up two days later hungry and fine. Lucky break or crazy luck?

We have this homeless dude who keeps coming in with a mountain of health issues - endocarditis, failing kidneys, cancer - you name it. He’s basically immune to d*ing. Doctors can’t figure him out, and honestly neither can we.

I work with a dude who eats enough burgers and sodas to feed a small army every day. He’s told he should be dead, but nope - still here, still living it large. And somehow, he’s not even obese. A calorie-burning walking wonder, maybe?

This pedestrian was so drunk, he passed out on train tracks and got hit by a train. The train dragged him 100 yards while he hung on the side of it. He had a coma and paralysis from the waist down but survived without major brain damage. Talk about a rough night out.
Another wild one involved a wife saving her husband from bleeding out by literally pressing on his neck after his cancer cut into a major artery. Superwife skills in action.

Had a pregnant woman who bled so much after childbirth her blood protein count was less than a third of normal. She was barely alive and had crazy heart rates and chest pains just from sitting up. We did an emergency hysterectomy and she survived - against all odds.

A friend of mine was in a car crash with no injuries, but when they took x-rays, they found she had a ‘hangman’s fracture’ - a neck break that usually kills on the spot. She was lucky it never moved and was fine after wearing a halo neck brace for a while. Wild, right?

We see this young guy every month in diabetic coma mode because he refuses insulin. He basically dances on death’s edge multiple times a year but someone always manages to find and save him before it’s game over. Stranger than fiction.

Paramedic here: This dude got rolled twice in a Mustang, thrown out the window, had a huge chunk of scalpel ripped off his head - and he wanted to refuse help! He stayed conscious, texted people during the ambulance ride, and called himself “a hard nugget.”

My dad had a heart attack in his main artery (aka Widowmaker) but drove around for hours confused trying to find a hospital. Somehow, he survived a total block and still remains alive today. The man’s a legend.

Military legend: A guy was working on a fighter jet’s ejection seat when it accidentally fired. The steel bar went right through his chin and out the top of his head, pulling 20 feet of cord through his skull. Somehow, he lived and was back at work two weeks later. Bet zombies don’t deal with that!

A young guy with Type 1 diabetes overdosed on opioids and was found at 24°C with blood so acidic it shouldn’t have been compatible with life. Paramedics thought he was done for, but warming him up saved the day. Cold magic!

My sister has a rare heart condition where her heart was about the size of a small watermelon. She puked after every gym class but never passed out or dropped dead while running miles in under 15 minutes. Docs said she was the most advanced case they’d seen that hadn’t had surgery. She still got a B- from gym. Sigh.

My father-in-law went to the ER with more than 300 blood clots in his legs. Every single one disappeared and he’s back to normal. Blood clots beware!

At 19, I got so sick I was in ICU with multiple organ failure. Doc told my family I probably wouldn’t make it. I spent days in a coma and then, surprisingly, started eating and standing before anyone expected. The doc told me later, 'I don’t know how you lived.' Neither do I!

When I was a kid, our male wolf attacked me. I was getting mauled to death when our rescue Black Lab broke free and saved my life. Dad later shot the wolf. Rescue dogs: truly heroic.

A med school memory: a guy got shot in the head near the hospital but was still talking for a bit. His brain eventually swelled and he stopped speaking. The toughest kind of quiet.

My mom got hit by a diesel truck at a stoplight, breaking her back and bleeding in her brain. Docs gave up, a priest was called, but she stabilized the next day. The doctor looked at her like “What just happened?!”

I’ve been hit by 3 cars, trapped in a mine collapse, survived fireworks going off early, fallen off roofs and flipped in a jeep. I like to say I’m too ugly to die. So far, it’s working.

When I was a paramedic student, we picked up a guy who broke his neck from a motorcycle crash but rode himself to the cop station to get help. It turned out he flew through *two* windshields and ended up inside the car mid-crash! That guy was lucky and tough!

Pediatric respiratory therapist story: a patient was so critically ill, his “urine” looked like thick blood and his “blood” looked clear. Lab got mad at us for labeling it wrong. He barely survived but came through as a miracle case.

I had pneumonia so bad in boot camp the radiologists huddled around my x-rays whispering. 80% of my lungs were flooded with fluid. The doctors were weirded out I survived, but I did. Still here today!

An anesthesiologist here: A young guy got shot in multiple places - from a big vein, through lung, liver, bowel, arteries, and all the way to his sacrum. His heart stopped in the ER but we restarted it. He survived hours of surgery and walked out the hospital later. Unreal.

Saw a guy shot 9 times - 3 shots in the neck - but nothing vital was hit. Just cleaned the wounds and sent him on his way. Crazy luck!

My great grandma’s blood pressure was sky-high for three months but she didn’t have any damage. Grandpa had polio that took away his ability to move below the lungs but somehow got better in weeks. Miracles run in the family!

My brother was in a car crash where he flew through windshields and slid down a guardrail on his chest for yards. Doctors said he should be dead from at least a dozen things, but he’s still kicking and rocking 37 years later. What a beast!

When I was five, I got bit 7 times by a brown recluse spider. Doctor said after 3 bites most people go nuts, but me? Just itchy. No scars even!

I checked myself into a psych center, and my blood pressure was 220/180 - super high. I felt normal and didn’t even notice until nurses freaked out. They gave me meds for heart failure right then and there. Wild!

Dad’s new doctor found an aortic dissection (super deadly tear) in his big artery, but dad thought it was just minor toe surgery! He calmly packed and called family as the doc told him to get to the ER fast. He had surgery and the doc called him a miracle. 3 days earlier and he’d have been toast.

My uncle got hit by a car while on his scooter, went flying through the windshield, landed in the back seat, and then flew out the windshield again. Both he and the driver told the same insane story, which convinced the cops after seeing his shoe in the car. True legend!

Dude ODed and had blood pH of 6.6 (super acidic - normal is 7.35-7.5). Medical science said he shouldn’t be alive, but hey, here he is, proving the odds wrong.

ER doc here: Guy was pulling a spike behind a tractor, it slipped out of neutral, and he ended up with 4-5 inch punctures in leg and belly. The tractor stalled just before hitting his chest, probably saving his life. Crazy to see him wheeled in like a human pincushion.

Friend was scooting to a pet job when hit by an Escalade. Police thought she was dead and told trauma to report her death. She woke up with a broken shoulder, shattered helmet, and massive head trauma. Now she’s biking again but without a scooter.

ER doc: Woman crashed off a bridge into icy water, paralyzed due to broken neck and limbs. She sat paralyzed for days while rats chewed on her toes, but lived for years! Hope you sleep well.

Thrown from a horse, I shattered large portions of my spine, dislocated hips and knees, broke ribs, and had brain injury. The craziest thing? No internal bleeding. Docs tell my story because the odds were nuts.

Uncle lost tons of blood to internal bleeding and had 10 hours of emergency surgery. Doctors told him he might not make it but here he is, alive and dealing with complications like a champ.