Wait, People Really Called 911 For That?!

Retired cop here. This lady kept calling about a ghost in her attic like it was his new roommate. My old training sergeant took one look at the address and said, "This ends today." We stopped by a Dollar General, bought a mason jar, then lit a cigarette, blew smoke into the jar and snapped the lid on. We proudly showed her the 'ghost' caught in the jar. She was thrilled and never called again.

I help run a small historic cemetery. One neighbor called the police on our landscaper simply because he was Black and mowing the lawn. Seriously, I hate that neighbor.

My friend got sent to a 911 call from a kid who thought she had to go to jail for hurting her baby. Turns out, the 'baby' was a doll with a popped-off arm. After fixing the dolly and explaining that dolls don’t need 911, my friend left with a smile.

- Guy called during a power outage just to get the score of the USA vs Canada Olympic game. Guess what? I'm Canadian and told him! - A teen called to complain her vodka was taken away (nope, not getting it back). - Tourist freaked about a bear on the highway—yeah, we live in the woods. - Older guy complained about kids being loud at 2pm. - American tourist mad fish weren’t biting despite paying big bucks. - Old lady called because a man didn't hold the door for her. - Someone yelled at us because no one turned on the Northern Lights.

Oh man, loads of classics: 3am call for tooth pain that's been there for two years. A woman worried a bull elk was lonely, so we gave her a quick elk mating lesson. Someone’s 32-year-old son superglued fingers together (yikes). One old lady wanted police to fix her TV because no repairman was available. Also, Karens calling because fast food wasn’t perfect. Classic!

I was visiting my 96-year-old mom, and she called 911 reporting me missing because I hadn't come back by dark. I'm 68. Apparently, she thought I was a lost child.

This guy set up a George Foreman grill next to his bed to wake up to bacon smells. Well, he stepped on it and it clamped his foot hard. Not the best way to wake up, but definitely 911 worthy!

Someone called 911 because their KFC was cold. Then the same person called again two weeks later to complain there were no wings. Can't make this stuff up! Oh, and once, before cell phones, a guy used 911 to call a friend from a payphone. They ended up plotting a robbery live on the line—cops were waiting and caught them. Wild.

The town put up a big 'Deer Crossing' sign, and a woman called 911 to complain because folks were 'flying down that road' and it wasn’t suitable for deer. Apparently deer aren’t great at jaywalking.

I responded to a call about someone unresponsive in a toilet stall. Turned out the guy was just dealing with diarrhea, didn’t want to chat, and definitely didn’t want EMS help. Next time, maybe check first before calling 911.

Had someone call asking for a restaurant's number in a different town. They weren’t elderly, so they got a little friendly lecture. But honestly, if someone sounds really out of it, I’ll send help just to make sure they’re okay.

I managed a store when a customer asked me to call police because she locked her keys in the car. I said, police don’t usually handle that, but locksmiths do. She said police told her they would help, but it turns out she had 911 saved as the police number in her phone! She dialed it herself, and the operator politely told her 911 isn’t for locked cars. She left, still on the phone.

A lady called about neighbors dropping pebbles (not even big rocks!) on her pebbled driveway. Turned out she was harassing them for months and eventually got arrested after attacking a cop. All over pebbles.

At dispatch, someone once called 911 saying they were a bored tourist with no money for a hotel. I had to explain gently that 911 isn’t for boredom or budget travel issues.

Folks call because drive-thrus close too early or because they were refused service for being a jerk or drunk. My wife even once called me at 911 because an opossum was knocking on the back door (it was stuck in the recycle bin). A real possum party.

When I was really young (like 5), I hid under the porch swing and called 911 because my grandparents tried to make me eat a hot dog. Someone still has food trauma!

I dispatch emergency helicopters sometimes. One guy called 911 every time he wanted to get out of a mental health facility, claiming extreme foot pain, and then fled to party with his brother as soon as the ambulance arrived. Ambulances: the ultimate joyride!

Somebody actually called 911 because nearby cows were mooing too loudly. The cows? Just living their best lives.

A parking attendant called 911 because two guys were riding bikes around, looking at cars suspiciously. Fun fact: our bike police units were somewhere else at the time.

One night, a drunk guy called 911 crying about a UFO trying to abduct him on a dark highway. Police found a small disabled plane on the highway instead. So maybe not a UFO, just a plane crash.

A regular at my bar is famous for calling 911 to report people driving the wrong way on the interstate, then realizing midway that he was actually driving wrong. Oops!

In 2018, UK KFC had supply issues so bad that the police had to publicly ask people to stop calling them about it. Yep, KFC wings caused a real-life crisis!

A lady called 911 recently because she saw lightning outside during a rainstorm. Not too close, just normal stuff where lightning happens. That’s the latest, but definitely not the strangest.

Someone called 911 on me three times in one day because I was birdwatching and apparently looked suspicious. The cops came, had a good laugh, and even joined me to watch a crow vs hawk fight.

My father-in-law, early in his dementia, called 911 for things like hangnails and blisters. Eventually, 911 flagged his number to screen calls before dispatching help.

I’m not dispatch, but at the ER, someone once came in by ambulance for head lice. Some emergencies are definitely... unique.

A dispatcher came to my school and told us about 911 calls. The one that stuck was a woman calling to ask how long to cook a Thanksgiving turkey. Spoiler: no paramedics needed.

We got a hang-up call in the mountains, sent helicopters and rescue units. Caller never answered. Fifteen minutes later she called back wondering why all the helicopters were there. Turns out she just saw a helicopter fly by and got curious.

A woman called 911 about a suspicious black man in her neighborhood. She insisted she knew everyone and he didn’t belong. Guess what? He’d lived just a few houses down for years.

My neighbor had her Amazon package stolen and was knocking on doors asking if anyone took it. I said no, but she insisted on searching my place. I said no. She called 911, accusing me of stealing. Police said they weren’t coming. The package was found one floor below her apartment. Mystery solved!

Not a dispatcher, but a bat got into my apartment. I tried emergency maintenance and animal control with no answer, so I called 911. The cop who showed up looked confused but tried to help. Bat rescue mission!

There was a recording where an elderly woman called 911 because she couldn’t find her pulse. Her own pulse. The dispatcher must’ve straightened her out.

I listen to police/fire scanners and people call 911 pretty often just because a stray dog or cat walked through their yard. Pets getting calls now!

Not 911 but security dispatch: A woman called saying someone stole chicken from her salad at work. Threatened to sue when told security wouldn’t help. Manager stepped in and sent someone to take a fake report. Salad crime solved.

Someone called 911 because someone else parked in their spot on the street. Like, that’s a total emergency, said no one ever.

Person called 911 because an ATM ate their debit card. When told they need to contact the bank, they threatened to break the machine. Then the store called us saying someone was kicking the ATM. Police got involved. Drama!

When I was 5, I called 911 crying my dog got run over. Dad explained it happened over a year ago, and I got a talk about when to call 911. I'm sure dispatchers got a chuckle.

Got called for a bleeding index finger—artery involved—and a five-day-old infant whose umbilical cord fell off and mom got scared she broke her baby. Night’s work done!

My mother-in-law called 911 during a panic when her dog had a seizure. She meant to call the vet. Dispatcher quickly corrected her. Luckily, dog was okay.

My friend called 911 to ask them to mark his yard for a fence installation. He thought he dialed 811, but nope, 911 is not that.

My cousin retired Chicago dispatcher told me a woman called multiple times about having a hard booger stuck in her nose. Paramedics were dispatched. Unbelievable!

My mom, a dispatcher, told me about a woman who called repeatedly because rats were stealing her garbage. She turned out to be a hoarder and got arrested after escalating things.

Someone called 911 asking when they’d hear back about a job application. I told them, don’t waste your time waiting by the phone.

A caller told us a vehicle was blocking a helicopter landing zone, and apparently the driver was embarrassed when the firetruck honked. Another caller, two blocks from a hostage scene, wanted cops to chase her neighbor’s chicken off her property. Also, someone called about Christmas lights that looked like a multi-colored fire.

My mom once called 911 on me because I didn’t immediately pay her back for something she bought. When I asked about payment, she told me to get out and called 911. Family drama, but emergency? Not so much.

I work in a home for the mentally ill. One patient called an ambulance saying he had extreme foot pain. When paramedics brought him to the hospital, his brother was waiting to take him out to party. Ambulance rides, the ultimate getaway car!

When I was 3 or 4, I called 911 to ask if my parents’ new phone was working. An officer came out and taught me about when it’s okay to call 911. Back when 911 was the only number I knew!

I called 911 to talk to my dad when I was a kid. He was a firefighter, and well, I just wanted to say hi.

I once asked a caller if they needed police, fire, or ambulance. They said whichever comes fastest to run them over so they could sue. Not your everyday call.

Had a drunk guy call 911 because he couldn’t find his phone. The kicker? He was calling from that exact phone.

My favorite: a lady dialed 911 from a Wendy’s drive-thru because they refused to sell her a Whopper. Spoiler: Wendy’s doesn’t sell Whoppers.

Someone called 911 because their dog had been neutered 7 years ago and they didn’t agree to it. Wanted to report the vet for malpractice. Talk about holding a grudge.

A woman on house arrest ran out of cigarettes and called 911, demanding a cop bring her a pack. She was very serious about it being an emergency.

Not 911 but police recruitment: A new police recruit couldn't get in the building on their first day—no security pass yet. So they called 999 to be let in. HR was not pleased.

A call came in about a duck being assaulted by another duck. The confusion took a few minutes before we realized it was just ducks duking it out.

A woman called 911 because she got her period and needed a pad. The male dispatcher got flustered and accidentally dropped a hemorrhage call. Emergency lines are wild.