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Alright, we’re diving straight into the wild and wacky world of dating app profiles today. You think you’ve seen it all? Think again. These gems are so cringey, weird, or just plain hilarious, they’ll make you glad you’re not dating in 2024. Let’s get right to it!
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“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
Honestly? I just want to come home and chill, not handle a drama show. Peace and quiet, please.
Edit: And love, too. Comfort me on my bad days, don’t nag about tiny stuff.
“I only date single men, must have three kids, and make over 100k. Also, I’m a stay-at-home mom.”
Uh, ha... haha... okay?
“Let me be your next big mistake. I’m definitely NOT the one, but you’ll still think of me forever!”
Great, so I’m signing up for emotional PTSD. Lovely.
Seriously, putting your kids right there in your profile pic? That’s like waving a beacon for creeps. Also, save the kid introductions for way later, please.
One lady wanted guys to send her their social security numbers for a "background check" before chatting. Privacy much? Yeah, no thanks.
Bio: Ask me.
Interests: Ask me.
Location: Ask me.
Also, if a profile says “Boss Mom” it usually means “I’m into MLMs.” Learned that the hard way.
"No Asians, no blacks, no tanned skin. Whites and K-pop looking Orientals only." Yeah, that’s not going to win you many friends.
One profile featured a pic of her in a wedding dress, crying over someone’s grave. Now that’s a mood.
“I’m not like other girls” – the cringe squad leader. It’s basically the female version of the “Alpha/Beta male” nonsense.
"If you’re feeling generous: [her Venmo username]". Oh, so straight to the point with money asks, huh?
“Change my mind about men!” Well, maybe start with talking to a therapist instead of strangers on a dating app.
She straight-up said, “I should get paroled in 90 days.” Hmm... that’s a bold profile pic statement.
One profile said: “I hate cops and white people” followed by knife emojis. Yep, definitely head-scratching.
That’s it. No jokes. Like, neat, I pee a lot too. Anyone wanna talk other bodily functions?
“Don’t date me if you’re a liberal or believe in credit cards.” Wait, what? Plus, a giant all caps rant about hating YOU. Totally normal.
She demanded only doctors message her, but she was just her dad’s receptionist. Expectations vs. reality!
“No mask-wearing freaks!” said the HR rep at my job. Also, “I won’t message you first,” so, uh, what’s the plan?
When a woman says “I’m a handful” or “I’m too much,” she’s bragging. But guys? That’s a huge red flag!
“I want a man who will confidently pursue me.” Sounds like she wants a personal assistant, not a partner.
One girl asked: “So who wants to be a daddy next Father’s Day?” Smooth, or terrifying? You decide.
On Bumble, the woman has to send the first message. She said she doesn’t? Either trolling or... just nope.
That’s it. No fun fact, no hobbies. If you want serious, at least put in some effort, please!
Well, that’s one way to put it all out there! Not sure if that’s the best dating tactic, but hey, she’s honest.
Her bio was like a grab bag: “Ethically Poly Queen,” plus “My friends say I’m fun,” and “Feed me.” Spicy combo.
In response to “I’m weirdly attracted to...” she said “Dogs.” Totally dropped my phone laughing.
Her hobbies? Food, hanging with friends, Netflix, traveling, sarcasm. If you were a spice, you’d be flour.
Basically means you’re not just dating one person, you’re getting the whole clan. Strap in.
This comes off less like a sincere message and more like a “help me” scream. Chill, people!
She was chill about everything except race - she only wanted a white guy. That’s one way to narrow the pool.
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