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The 67 Most Hilariously Awful First Date ‘Ick’ Moments (You Won’t Believe #14!)
First dates are a rollercoaster of feels - excitement, nerves, and sometimes, complete horror. We all know you have to kiss a bunch of frogs before you find your prince or princess, but sometimes those frogs are basically nightmares. A bunch of folks spilled their funniest and grosser first date "icks" in a wild Reddit thread, and trust me, these stories are gold (if you're into cringe!). Ready for some laugh-until-you-cringe tales to kill time while you wait for your next swipe? Let's dive in!
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So this guy says if we keep dating, I gotta quit the gym because my calves are bigger than his. His exact fear? Looking down during the deed and seeing "man legs." Spoiler: I left faster than you can say leg day.
Let's be real, not every first date is gonna be a home run, and that’s totally cool. The whole point is just figuring out if you vibe or nah.
Fun fact: A study says most people decide if there’s a future date in under 20 minutes! Courtesty of a survey with 2,000 people, manners, personality, and chatting skills beat looks. So if you’re gonna ick someone out quicker than a bad joke, remember it’s probably not about your jawline.
Also, some chat topics are flagged as “red light” territory - talking about sex, religion, or your ex right off the bat? Yikes. Keep it chill, folks.
We sat down at this gorgeous sunset spot, and before I could even say 'hi' she spent 15 minutes obsessively arranging the table, candles, and my drink for the ‘perfect’ Instagram shot. Then totally ghosted me while editing in silence. I wasn’t a date, I was a prop. Huge ick.
Date went great: drinks, then my place, yada yada. Next morning, she’s vanished. No goodbye, no text - just poof. Then I see my toilet is flooded, poop everywhere, like a horror scene. Turns out, she single-handedly clogged the toilet and made a mad dash to escape the embarrassment. There was a plunger, she tried, but nope. Now THAT’S a first date story.
Wondering how to politely bounce from a bad date? Honesty is key (but no need to drop a truth bomb). A smooth line like, “It was great meeting you, but I’m not feeling a spark,” works wonders.
If your date pulled a weird move (like ordering for you without asking), you can gently mention it. Just keep it light and kind.
Had an awesome first date, set up round two. On day two, dude started blasting homophobic opinions like it’s a sport - ‘gay people are disgusting,’ no Pride, keep it ‘away from the mainstream.’ I left then and there.
Funnily enough, a few months later, swapped bad date stories with another guy who owned similar views. Apparently, I’m a magnet for bigots. Story of my dating life.
First date and I grab a second piece of bread. He slaps my hand and says eating more bread will make me fat. Mind you, I’m 115 pounds. I just silently walked out - bye bye, Captain Rude.
Met a bassist after a concert, went out for drinks. At first kiss, he shoved his tongue down my throat then literally bit my bottom lip, drawing blood. Bartender kicked him out immediately. Talk about a first impression!
Tempted to make up a wild excuse to leave? Experts say nah, you don’t owe anyone a detailed story! White lies are a last resort, and definitely don’t say, "Let's do this again!" if you mean "Never." Honesty = respect, even if it stings a little.
He checked my knuckles for hair and declared he doesn’t like hairy girls. Also, tip: he apparently can’t spell “quiet.”
Took a girl to a local spot, but she wasn’t feeling it and said it lacked “people like us.” Switched to a queer bar, and then she loudly complained it was "too white." I laughed; dude’s gonna have a tough go in her new city!
Blind date boasted her 'clean eating' lifestyle meant no deodorant or toothpaste needed. Spoiler alert: It did not.
GQ agrees - don’t string them along. No need to ghost either; just don’t promise a sequel that’s never coming. Simple, clear, and no drama.
Roommate’s manager dates me and keeps calling his mom “Mother.” Then casually mentions sleeping in her bed spooning her. He even jokes about avoiding morning wood around her. We did NOT have a second date.
At dinner, he reveals he's married with a mistress and wanted to "interview" me for a threesome where everyone does their own thing. No joke. Just got up and walked out. What a plot twist.
Date wasn’t hungry because she had just eaten 2 Salisbury steak TV dinners. Then she burped like 20 times during the movie, all smelling like those dinners. Gross level: expert.
If they want a round two, a polite text the next day saying, “Thanks, but it’s not a fit,” saves everyone time. It’s the adult thing to do.
He didn’t believe in western medicine, thought women didn’t need pain meds for childbirth, and skipped flea meds for his dog. Meanwhile, I was in med school. Yikes.
She picked fights with the waitress at the bar, got kicked out, then sat in the street screaming till cops showed up. They knew her by name, put a Hannibal Lecter mask on her, and carted her off. She even tried reaching out for round two! Wow.
A guy from Match.com criticized my chopstick skills, bragged about dating Cameron Diaz (with a racial insult about her nose), and had white powder on his nose after multiple bathroom trips. When I asked, he offered me some. Nope!
Every awkward date is a learning date. Reflect a little: What did you learn? How will it help your next adventure? Or just appreciate the wild ride and move on!
Teen date ruined by him snapping fingers and yelling “Hey Bambi!” to the waitress. Instant nope.
He saw firetrucks, decided to chase them instead of taking me to dinner. After the fire was out, I asked him to take me home. Not the date I signed up for!
She got drunker and drunker during the date, tried climbing over mall fences to jump into a lagoon, cut her mouth on a beer bottle, and then called me stupid for declining a second date. What a night!
Met at Dave & Busters, he begged to use my game card, sucked at games, drained almost half my $200, then refused to pay for dinner. Major dud.
Went to a Lakers game dressed casual. He said I wasn’t hot enough to be with him. So I drove off and ditched him. Mic drop.
He kept pushing me into traffic and pulling me back, shouting, “Saved your life!” Not the hero I was hoping for.
She kept randomly reminding me she was a born again Christian, then suddenly tried to get handsy during a movie after swearing “no funny business.” Twilight zone vibes!
On a college double date, he asked to be dropped at a strip club after dinner. Gross then, kind of hilarious now.
After getting intimate, found out she was ‘divorced’ but actually married, and her husband and kids were just a few tables away. Sneaky and shocking!
Middle school date moment: I laughed so hard a half-hard booger shot out but stayed connected by a string. My reflex? Sniff it right back up. He never talked to me again. Classic!
This was no date but hilarious. Dude demolished endless breadsticks at Olive Garden but only ate the tops where all the butter and seasonings are. Breadstick tyranny!
A woman invited me over during Covid to get her pregnant. I said no and got kicked out. Months later, saw she was already pregnant. Wild.
Mid-40s me on a date with a lovely lady who had breath so bad it was a cloud of horror. No joke, passersby probably needed masks. I escaped ASAP.
I said I was vegetarian. She replied, “I was too, but it gave me bad vaginal leakage.” No thanks!
She gave me her full list of mental illnesses. Respect for honesty, but no second date for me.
Dude 1 dropped the n-word during directions, so I canceled. Dude 2 rifled through my stuff and planned our future home (we weren’t even dating). Dude 3 lied about his height and admitted to falling asleep driving daily. Nope, nope, nope.
High school blind date on a double date. I preferred sitting on the outside of a booth, but he ordered me to sit inside. Friend and their date were speechless. Awkward forever.
He brought rice from the cooker into his not-so-clean room, stirred it with his fingers, licked them, then shaped sushi right next to dirty clothes on the floor. Nope, nope, nope. Got my friend to pick me up ASAP.
She told me she’d slept with several of my friends and casually said, “Guess it’s your turn.” Yeah, no thanks.
She claimed to be a Victoria’s Secret model but was 40 pounds heavier than her pics. Her defense? “I’ve modeled their lingerie before, just not for them.” Hmmm.
Date knew I didn’t want board games but insisted on a board game café. When I lost, he made finger guns and called me a loser, talked more to the waiter, then ate my leftovers. Finger guns were the real ick.
Blind date shows up with his much older brother who just watches us stare-at-my-date style from across the restaurant. No second date was ever a question.
He was chatting while eating and spit bits of food onto my plate and even once on my face. Flinched hard and yeah, that was the end.
He blamed constant, loud farting on being vegetarian. During the movie date, it was so bad I was mortified. First date was his best behavior, apparently.
On a first date, this guy out of nowhere starts talking about shaving his private parts and never wearing underwear. We weren’t even on that topic. Super weird.
Showed him a funny video with a female star; he didn’t laugh, just said she looked fat. Instant ick.
Blind date kept bragging about wealth and hotel hookups, but was always disappearing to the bathroom. Looking back, probably ‘snow’ breaks. Ew.
He kept picking his nose while eating in front of me at a restaurant. Gross level: max. I dropped him immediately.
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