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I used to work at an airport and went through security a ton. One time, TSA told me my peanut butter sandwich was a liquid and I couldn’t bring it in. I was like, "Open it and turn it upside down—it won’t drip!" Another guy, a pilot, got stopped over a tiny screwdriver. He shouted, "I’m a pilot! If I wanted to hurt someone, I’d crash the plane!" Spoiler: Didn’t save his screwdriver. TSA just loves being right.
My girlfriend had TSA precheck; I didn’t. She wanted to stick with me 'cause I’d just had eye surgery. TSA saw she had precheck but was in the regular line and gave her a precheck card anyway so I could join. Cool, right? Nope. We waited 10 minutes while everyone else zipped by. Then they made me go back and do the regular scan solo. Then shoes, then a random pat-down for a medical monitor on my arm. Thanks, TSA, for the Olympic obstacle course!
In Amsterdam, security confiscated our Nutella because—get this—they said if you heat it enough, it turns into a liquid! What? Like I’m carrying a microwave? My husband joked, 'Heat me up enough and I’ll turn to liquid too.' Ten years later and he’s still salty about it.
Had a CPAP machine with me, and TSA wanted me to turn it on right there—not plugged in. I told them it runs on electricity and needs to be plugged in. Nope, 'turn it on!' Ten minutes of back-and-forth later, I’m still like, 'You seriously want me to turn on a device that isn’t getting power?'
Carrying Humira pens with ice packs while flying. TSA uncapped all eight pens because “taking the cap off primes the injection.” Each pen costs $500! I freaked out because I couldn’t travel without them. Even my doctor got involved. Special bag and all—it didn’t save them.
I have a titanium plate in my arm from an accident, which sets off metal detectors. TSA made me let them squeeze my arm really hard to "feel" the plate—tearing healing muscle and causing weeks of extra pain. Nice.
I asked TSA which line was pre-check and got four sarcastic answers in a row. One said, 'If you don’t know what pre-check is, you don’t belong there,' then another said, 'Isn’t it the faster line?' Me: 'Neither is fast.' Him: 'Well then, it doesn’t matter!' Seriously? Just tell me where to stand!
Had blood thinning injections, with prescriptions and letter from doc. TSA still refused to let me bring them on...during a 26-hour flight! Because you know, the chance of DVTs totally doesn’t matter. Make it make sense.
TSA told me my passport photo wasn’t me. I showed them other IDs, and still no. Supervisor agreed with them. I just stood there. Then they let me through anyway! So apparently they’ll let potential terrorists pass if they can't prove otherwise. Brilliant.
Had 14 stitches on my neck from a dog bite. TSA agent said, “Time to take off your Halloween makeup,” tried giving me an antibacterial wipe to remove the bandages. It was March! I slapped her hand away, got hauled off to a room for an hour. All because her brain took a vacation.
Had two laptops—one Windows, one Mac—for work. TSA took almost three hours figuring out that ‘I need both’ is a legit reason. By then, I’d missed my flight. Oops!
At Milwaukee Airport, I had to take off shoes, belt, AND shirt because of staples in my lung. Tried keeping an eye on my laptop, but TSA kept yelling 'Move on!' All while I was freezing and breaking a gov't rule about laptop security. Co-worker’s laptop was almost stolen because she trusted TSA. Messy.
TSA wouldn’t believe my shirt wasn’t a jacket. I kept saying it was a blouse, and I was only wearing a bra underneath—no way I was taking it off. After four rounds, she finally let me through. Victory!
Carrying a beautiful palm-sized geode, TSA said it could be a weapon, so they took it. I’m 99% sure it’s sitting in some TSA agent’s living room now. It was sparkly and blue and made me so happy. Still get mad thinking about it.
Flying with a broken foot and wearing an orthopedic boot, Nashville TSA lost their minds. They yelled at me for asking to sit down taking it off, for wearing it, for telling them why I needed it, and for putting it back on. Meanwhile, they kept scanning the boot like it was a mystery box.
Nashville TSA, worst in the US. I printed their own policy to show frozen food is allowed, but they still made me toss $50 worth of frozen cheese and country ham. Told me they were liquids/gels. Hey TSA, solids and liquids are different—look it up!
My uncle and dad have super common last names. TSA held them because there was a warrant for someone with their name—except the suspect was much taller and younger. No big deal, right? They still made them wait. Classic mix-up fun.
Traveling with a chocolate cake? TSA x-rayed it twice, swabbed it, got a supervisor...like I was sneaking explosives. Also, medical meds kept cold and syringes were almost confiscated, despite TSA Precheck. Papa bear came out strong!
Had two lipsticks—same size, different colors. TSA said, 'You can keep only one.' So I had to toss one, no questions asked. Red or pink? Your choice, but one's gotta go.
A TSA agent wanted me to take my Medela breast pump out of its case and tried to pull it apart. I said, 'If you break it, you’re paying.' Supervisor wasn’t happy about the delay, but in the end, they swabbed it and let us go—with the pump intact.
My buddy was asked, "Anything hidden in your shoes?" He jokingly said, "Maybe a bad smell?" TSA was NOT amused and took apart his entire suitcase. We waited 45 minutes. That's walking on the wild side with TSA humor.
My CPAP machine always gets extra tests. In Chicago, two TSA agents argued—one said I had to wait while they tested it, the other said I had to leave immediately. Meanwhile, I was stuck in the middle getting yelled at by both.
TSA stopped me just for wearing a jacket with a metal zipper. Come on, there’s gotta be millions of these out there.
Small pair of scissors/hair trimmers, new and in factory packaging, clearly TSA approved? They still took ’em.
They dug through my stuff for a compass because it looked like a weapon. I just held it up and said, "Yeah, that way’s north." I was the last person to board because of it.
My wife got swabbed with explosives-detection wipes multiple times just because she had milk for our babies. Because, you know, newborns are definitely hiding explosives in their bottles! Also, TSA yelled at me for my pants falling down due to weight loss and taking off my belt. Classic.
My wife had her inhaler in her medical bag. It was “suspicious.” Because, why would anyone ever need medicine?
Went through the metal detector three times, but the wand didn’t even detect my braces. TSA logic!
At a tiny airport with just a couple of gates, TSA filled the place with agents shouting like it’s a packed terminal. I was the only passenger. I laughed, asked who they were yelling at, then got 'randomly' selected for a 20-minute search. Yep.
My wife had her inhaler in her medical bag...and TSA decided it was suspicious. Never changes.
Refused the body scan while pregnant (I can opt for a wand). TSA agents went full power trip, called a supervisor, and acted all rude and condescending. Even tried to confiscate my 3.1 oz shampoo bottle. My husband had to calm me down to catch the flight.
Not my story, but a TSA screener made someone get a full screening redo because he thought he spotted a 'Bitcoin' on the x-ray. What a mix-up!
Working at an airport, I bring soup in my lunch, and TSA often tries to stop me for liquids. I flash my badge, but they don’t always buy it. One time, I had to throw away a pen and my plastic cutlery. Now, I’m bringing my own utensils to avoid the drama.
I had my hands in my pockets and TSA decided to make a big deal about it. No further explanation needed.
I worked for TSA for ten years. It’s officially the most dysfunctional place you can imagine. Want to mess with a coworker? Hide a 9-volt battery in their carry-on and watch the chaos.
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