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Hey! Ready for a wild ride through some of the most bizarre, jaw-dropping, "did they really say that?!" moments from exes? Buckle up - this one’s a doozy.
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He told me to “Speak when Spoken to” in front of all his friends when I actually said something. Guess what? His friends totally cheered when I dumped him.
I told him I was in labor and he said, “Save the acting for Hollywood.” So, I drove myself to the hospital and had the baby solo. Happily divorced now!
He said “Andrew Tate has some points...” and I literally yelled at him for an hour. What a ride.
He’d rather go to work than come with me to the hospital. FYI: I was about to give birth to our deceased son. Yep, just nope.
He straight-up asked what if I caught him cheating on me WITH my own sister. Like... she was 6 years old at the time! Wait, what?
The first thing he said was “Block him right now, I don’t want you talking to other guys.” Spoiler: It was my own brother. Drama overload.
He told me, “You need to realize your emotions rub off on others so just get over it.” Oh cool, he said this while I was grieving my dad’s death.
A few weeks after I had our son, he asked why my stomach looked so disgusting. Thanks, champ.
On the day my mom passed away, he was like “You never wanna talk about me or how I feel.” I was like, “Uh, my mom died like 3 hours ago?” His answer? “What does that have to do with what I said?” Oof.
He told me to delete Duolingo because the app’s notifications were flirting with me. Sure, blame the app!
I mentioned I was getting a haircut, and she warned me not to get it too short or I’d look like my mom, who had cancer. Awkward much?
After my car broke down in his town, he said he couldn't get help because his friends would think I was a solid 4/10 and he’d be embarrassed. Yeah, no thanks.
I said I was on my period and he replied, “Girls aren’t really supposed to talk about that with men.” Nice one, buddy.
He asked if I wanted to be polyamorous because if I was included, this girl who had rejected him three times might say yes. That’s some wishful thinking right there.
He told me girls DM him all the time and he could leave me whenever. Later said it was to motivate me to “try harder.” Hmm, motivation or maybe just a jerk move?
Had a pregnancy scare and when the test was negative, he said, “Maybe stop eating so much so you won’t think you’re pregnant.” Real helpful.
Back when I dated men, one tried to 'train' me to be quiet using hand signals, like I was a dog. No thanks.
He said, “I could make you fear me if I wanted to.” Um, what exactly does that mean, Brochacho?
He told me, “You’re a strong woman, you can get through this,” right after I found out he cheated and was crying my eyes out. Smooth.
He cried for three whole days confessing he was in love with my best friend and wanted us both. Yeah, awkward times.
I told him I was waiting at a bus stop at 9:30 PM in the dark. He said, “Stay safe” — then he drove right past me on his way home. Literally my house was on the way. Talk about not caring.
He says he pays a £50 monthly subscription to Andrew Tate for 'male motivation.' Yep, that happened.
He didn’t want a vasectomy because “what if I want kids with someone else?” Yeah, that’s a nope from me.
He told me not to take my antidepressants because he wants me dependent on him. Nope, not staying.
He said, “I know how to manipulate people and could manipulate you, but I won’t.” Spoiler alert: He definitely tried.
He told me not to take painkillers during my period because they’re too strong. THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT, DUDE. Endometriosis is real.
He said, “Sometimes I think about poisoning burgers and feeding them to homeless people.” WHAT? WHY DID I NOT RUN THEN?
He asked me to drop him off and then drive myself home after a C-section with our newborn. So, I did it all alone. Wow.
After two years, I tried to get her to get a license and job and she threw a tantrum saying, “You’re acting like my dad.” Cool.
He accused me of cheating on him with my grandma 'cause we slept in the same room. Wild, right?
I told him I never wanted kids, but he said, “Our babies are gonna be so cute.” Nice try, buddy.
He told me to stop wearing my binder because it made him uncomfortable. Yeah, that’s a no from me.
He kissed his female best friend while drunk in front of me and then asked, “This is OK, right?” I said yes. Smh.
He convinced me to help plan a surprise party for his ex, then ignored my birthday a few weeks before. Plus, I ended up paying most of it. Sweet.
He said my cell and molecular biology major didn’t need critical thinking. I studied it for five years, thanks.
He asked if it was okay if another guy could be his Valentine. Yeah, that raised major eyebrows.
He saw me wake up panicked and crying, struggling to breathe, and said, “Aww, you’re so cute! Don’t hide your face, I like seeing you cry :3.” Yeah, that’s messed up.
The night before he was supposed to visit, he claimed someone broke in and stole our passports. Plot twist!
He literally put his finger over my mouth at the dinner table in front of his entire family. Awkward.
I asked him to hang out, he said he was busy... then planned with his friends in front of me. Rude much?
He said, “When you tell me no, it triggers my rejection issues.” I wasn’t in the mood. End of story.
He said, “I can have girl friends but you can’t have guy friends.” I dropped my guy friends for him. Mistake.
His reply when I asked him not to flirt with other girls? “Ugh, I guess I’ll try.” Like I asked him to win an Olympic medal or something.
He pushed me into a window, covering me in glass, then said, “Are you seriously scared of me now?!” Nope.
He talked about his ex so much it drove me insane. Then I got a boyfriend two months after our breakup. Yay.
She said, “There are plenty of people who want me, so don’t think you’re irreplaceable.” Oof.
He asked, “If I dated one of your friends, who would I have a chance with?” Boundaries, please.
He said I was much skinnier when we first met and he liked my slim arms back then. Spoiler: I left him.
He said, “I knew I loved you so much once I started seeing you as more than just a woman.” Sweet, but still weird.
He told me he didn’t have to brush his teeth because he had a ‘free pass’ for his birthday. Well, that’s one way to celebrate.
I sent a cute pic of my bird on my shoulder and he said, “Cheating on me with a bird is crazy.” Then ignored me for two hours. Birds over me, apparently.
When I asked why he cheated, he said, “We were in a rough place and I thought I could do better.” Oof.
He told me we wouldn’t have conversations unless I started them. I refused, so he ignored me all day until I caved. Two weeks later, breakup.
He said he was still in love with his ex but loved me too. At the same time, he wasn’t ready to commit but didn’t want me to date anyone else. Confusing much?
He told me he was scared to cheat at a party but went anyway. Then two weeks later, he broke up because he needed to focus on drama class. Classic plot twist.
When I was going in for tumor removal surgery, he said, “Good luck,” dropped me off, and then went to a car meet. Priorities?
He told me not to say “I love you” so much because it loses meaning. I’m not sure he's getting it.
He made me stop watching ‘A Star is Born’ because he was scared I’d get famous and leave him. Spoiler: I never finished it.
He said, “I didn’t realize I had to think about the other person’s feelings in a relationship.” Yeah, good luck with that.
Back in high school, he made a list ranking all the girls. I was an 8.5, and my best friend was a 10. Thanks for the feedback.
He said, “I don’t like people with body hair, but yours is okay because it’s you.” Umm, what?
I was acting cute, so I asked if he was laughing at me. He said, “No, you’re not a clown. You’re the WHOLE CIRCUS, including the elephant.” I cried that night but didn’t leave. Why???
I took my mum out for coffee once and my ex texted, “Since when do you drink coffee?” She was jealous of EVERYTHING. Wild.
She said she couldn’t always say she loved me because “sometimes she just didn’t feel like that.” Oof.
He told me he wanted to marry me the very first day we met face to face. We weren’t even official yet!
When I said I wanted to stop birth control because of cancer risks, he asked, “So you’ll be bald?” Smooth.
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