Let’s Get Real: 59 Anti-Positive Affirmations That Are Weirdly Funny

Dave told CNN he’s not here to spread fake cheer but to shine a light on the awkward shadows we all hide from.
When he started dealing with bipolar disorder, he realized the usual ‘stay positive’ mantra wasn’t cutting it. Instead, he began making memes that laughed along with anxiety, panic attacks, and all those messy brain moments.
With his Disappointing Affirmations, he puts the ‘negative’ thoughts on full display - and yeah, he laughs at them too.

Honestly, Dave’s a hardcore pessimist by nature. He’s that person who checks if the store is open, expects it not to be, and then grumbles because surprise - it’s not open. Classic.
He says, “Expect nothing, never be disappointed?” Nah. For him, life loves to throw curveballs, so he’s basically got a front row seat to disappointment. But hey, that’s just part of the deal.

Dave’s secret? When depression hits, he doesn’t fight it - he lets it do its weird little dance.
He says, “The old me used to hate being depressed, which just made stuff worse.” Now he’s like, ‘Okay, depression’s here. Let’s chill.’ It’s like accepting both the rain and the sun on your weird mood weather forecast.
Plus, shoutout to his therapists and meds for keeping the chaos mostly in check.

Vulnerability used to feel like a total weakness for Dave, but now he sees it as his superpower.
Years of therapy taught him the magic of talking about the tough stuff.
And guess what? His Disappointing Affirmations have actually helped other folks feel seen and understood in their own not-so-great moments.

Don’t get it twisted - Dave’s not trashing all positive affirmations, just the toxic kind that act like bad news doesn’t exist.
His Disappointing Affirmations are like the realistic best friend who tells it like it is, even if the truth is kinda grim.
He’s all about owning the fact that life can really stink sometimes and that it’s totally okay to see it that way.

Dave’s book Disappointing Affirmations: Unfollow Your Dreams! brings all his honest vibes together.
The people who get it might not know Dave’s whole story but will definitely feel like someone finally gets them.
Basically, he’s channeling the support he wished he had when he was younger - pretty cool, huh?