Wait, They Actually Did That?! Hilarious Times People Totally Weaponized Their ‘I Don’t Know How’ Excuse

My ex's chore was unloading the dishwasher. Instead of just doing it, he made a point of dropping and breaking dishes that were special to me. When I got mad, he said he was just too clumsy and maybe I should do it if I didn’t want my stuff broken.

A guy who trained me said, “If you mess up enough, they stop asking you to do stuff.” He went 20 years like that and retired as the least responsible person in our department. Genius or just lazy? You decide.

My stepdad has never done a thing around the house. After my mom passed, he had no clue how to pay bills or take care of himself. He expected me - the only woman - to handle everything. When I said no, they iced me out and he remarried fast. Wild times.

If I went out for fun without him, my ex wouldn’t eat all day and then freak out when I got home because he was starving. A full-grown man who refuses to feed himself and manages to blame me for it? Yeah, that happened.

I worked with a legal assistant who had been there 14 years. She knew exactly how to file and manage stuff for the boss. But when anyone else asked for help, suddenly she was clueless. Messed up major court filings but never when the boss needed her. Hmmm...

When our son was one, I did bedtime while my ex was ‘supposed’ to tidy the living room. He only picked up toys on the floor. When I told him cleaning meant everything - tables, dishwasher, the works - he said he needed me to tell him what to do each time. We divorced a year later. Go figure.

Worked with a woman who seemed to have the IQ of a daffodil. We took all her work to get projects done on time. Then, one day in the elevator, she straight-up told me she acted dumb so we’d do her work. Respect the hustle!

A coworker hated the company and after studying the safety manual, when OSHA showed up, we got cited because of him. His defense? The manual said wear hardhats all the time but didn’t say where. So, knee hardhat it was. 100% compliant.

My 5-year-old seems to forget he even has legs when it’s time to walk to school. Every. Single. Morning.

A female coworker was supposed to lead a PC refresh but claimed she didn’t know Excel. She then got stuck asking others what supplies were needed. She was eventually fired after raising accusations about being targeted for her gender. Drama everywhere.

My old coworker messed up even the simplest tasks whenever asked to help, so eventually everyone stopped asking him. He basically trained everyone to leave him alone. Sneaky and effective.

My aunt lives in Quebec and has totally retired from her airport career. But she flat-out refuses to speak a lick of French. Honestly, can’t blame her. I’m in awe.

My dad hates tech but refuses to learn. If you try to explain, he just walks away or plugs his ears. His words? "I don’t need to learn how to log in to Netflix. That’s your job!" Sigh.

My awesome boss retired and was replaced by a total jerk. He wanted to replace us all, so he had me train my replacement before firing me. I trained him so well they asked me to come back after I left - LOL, no thanks!

Helping friends move, the guy grabbed a bunch of clothes and just dropped them into an open suitcase. When his girlfriend called him out, he said she should pack his clothes because she’s better at it. Classic excuse!

I asked my partner to clean the bathroom. He kept missing spots, saying he cleaned the way he’s used to. He finally admitted he was probably slacking without even realizing it. Nice try, buddy.

A colleague, probably in his 50s, insisted he’d never used a computer mouse and couldn’t figure it out. After I gave up, I passed him off to our manager who had to intervene. What a show!

My brother-in-law is amazing at everything he likes, but acts like a total noob for chores, saying “You’re better at it, I’ll ask you.” Trying to teach him? He throws a fit like a toddler.

My roommate claimed he couldn’t take out the trash because he didn’t know how to tie the trash bag closed. Yeah, that was his big excuse. The trash? Still there.

My coworker insisted he couldn’t format Word documents because he was a ‘visual person.’ Meanwhile, he was a graphic designer. The plot thickens.

My grandma took a week off and grandpa was home alone for the first time ever. He sharted, had no clean pants, and had no clue how to use the washing machine. We went shopping and I showed him how to start the machine - he looked at me like I was some laundry wizard.

My friend’s husband, when left with their three boys, starts arguments just so he can send them to their rooms and skip actual parenting. When she got a chance to get out, he called her seven times in two hours. Yikes.

My 46-year-old mom talks like a baby when she wants you to do things and then says she can’t figure it out. If you refuse, she throws a fit or goes silent until someone feels sorry and does it for her.

I work in IT support, and one guy on my team went 5 hours with his headset mic broken. Every call ended with callers hanging up because they couldn’t hear him. When things got tough, he’d ‘help’ by making servers reboot and calls drop. Sneaky?

A patron using an assistive device told me he was bad with tech and needed staff to basically do his whole manuscript. But when he finally sat at the computer alone, he used it perfectly. Turned out he’d done this trick for years with others too.

The first week in our first place together, my spouse tried to act like he didn’t know how to sweep right. I told him he wasn’t gonna get away with that, and he never tried it again. Dumb but loveable.

Working with twenty-year-olds feels like you’re babysitting sometimes. One couldn’t cut wet cardboard, another couldn’t tell which end was the start, and one thought the cylinder volume problem was impossible. Youth or excuse? You decide.

My ex claimed he didn’t clean because I didn’t praise him enough. Logic? Zero.

I caught her pretending she didn’t know the theme of the play when she had just been loudly talking about it to friends during the group project. Nice try though!

My coworker would conveniently ‘forget’ meetings, deadlines, and responsibilities just so he could shove his work onto me. Sneaky and annoying.

During audits, some people just repeat “I don’t recall” or “I don’t know.” If remembering is part of your job, maybe don’t do this? Just saying.

At work, many women outright refuse any ‘manual’ stuff, saying it ‘needs a man.’ Meanwhile, tiny ladies throw cages and stock around better than some guys. Don’t underestimate!

My brother had my mom convinced he couldn’t load the dishwasher, so he only got to unload it while I had to do the loading. I’ll never get over it.

My mom refuses to learn how to use the snowblower. Her logic? If she doesn’t know, she’ll never be asked to do it. Genius or just lazy? Midwestern mystery.

A colleague with 7 years of seniority asked me how to open a ticket for faulty materials. I showed him, and he said, “Well, you have it open, I’ll probably forget.” I closed the tab and told him I didn’t have it open now. Smooth.

My uncle convinced my dad to take a ‘dream job’ as night gate guard where no one bothered you. Turns out uncle was so bad and unpleasant that everyone avoided him, and my dad got drowned in work. Surprise, surprise.

At work, especially healthcare, some people pretend they didn’t get trained or can’t learn the job requirements. It’s like ‘playing dumb’ to get out of stuff. Nope.

A guy in our antenatal class bragged that when asked to change diapers, he ‘accidentally on purpose’ dropped it dirty side down on the carpet so he wouldn’t get asked again. Mission accomplished!

Some people claim they need detailed instructions for chores but somehow manage perfectly fine when they’re the only help around. Coincidence? We think not.

After the groom’s dad’s friend whispered at the wedding, “Do everything badly and act like you can’t do it right, and she’ll do it,” everything unfolded accordingly. Nailed it.

My boss needs to mail stuff but claims he can’t fold paper into a tri-fold. So he asks me to do it. It’s classic: ‘I’m incapable’ but expects work done.

Students say they can’t even start work because they don’t have a pencil, despite free pencils being right there. It’s a talent for excuses.

Every day, students lose track of a simple sheet of paper and act like it’s not their fault they don’t have the assignment. The paper just disappears like magic.

A few older people prefer not to learn how smartphones or computers work. It’s not lack of ability; it’s just ‘Nope.'

The contractor distorted data and always said, “I did what I was told.” Eventually, upper management figured out I was doing two jobs, and the contractor got the boot. Bye bye!

Honestly, a lot of what’s called weaponized incompetence might just be poor training or unclear expectations. If no one shows someone how to do something, it’s hard to blame the person, right?