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Hey! Ready for some seriously wild and hilarious stuff dads and boyfriends have said during visits to the OB/GYN? Let's jump right into the funniest and most jaw-dropping moments ever shared by those in the delivery room. Brace yourself - it gets pretty crazy out there!
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Last month, a dad asked for an “extra stitch” while his wife was healing after giving birth. The OB just deadpanned, “Exactly how small do you need it to be, sir?”
Now that story is the stuff of legends on the ward.
Early morning roadside birth alert! Mom was in full-on labor, and as her baby's head was crowning, Dad panicked, "Wait, wait, we might get blood on the floor!" Mom just gave him the fiercest glare and said, "Forget your mom's van!"
Yeah, that’s the vibe around here now.
So, a 15-year-old girl walks in with a positive pregnancy test but was convinced she couldn’t be pregnant. Her boyfriend told her that if she just laid completely still during intercourse, she wasn’t “active” and couldn’t get pregnant.
Yeah... science said otherwise.
My ex was an OB/GYN and when I complained about cramps, he said he knew exactly what the pain felt like and I should just deal with it.
Looking back, that was the start of a long list of warning signs.
Internship story: Mom wasn’t progressing in labor, and doctor discovered it was breech. Communicating the need for a c-section to a mom who spoke no English was tricky.
With mime and help, they explained it. Turns out, she thought a c-section meant they’d cut her open... and end her! Relief all around when she finally got it.
ER nurse story: A 19-year-old woman with two kids got pregnant again but thought babies just show up once you have a boyfriend.
She genuinely didn't realize sex causes babies. We had a long chat about how, you know, it actually works.
During a prenatal visit, hubby casually explains how conception went down - with the wife’s mother and sister holding her legs so he could do his thing.
Yep, that really happened.
Mom came in for a two-week check and to get stitches removed after delivery. Surprise! The stitches were already gone.
Turns out, hubby took them out because they annoyed him during intimate moments.
My wife fell down stairs because our kid jumped out of her arms. Afterwards, staff totally ignored me.
Turns out, they thought I pushed her! I wasn’t even home. Guess I look like *that* guy.
My ex didn’t want me to use tampons or cups. He claimed those things stretch you out.
He also believed after time together, your 'private parts' would change shape to fit just him.
Seriously, what?!
After 12 hours of labor, dad casually asks, “When can my wife have snacks?” Nurse pauses, then says, “Not anytime soon.”
Turns out dad was asking about when they could have sex again - not snacks! Oops!
A 22-year-old woman showed up saying 'I found a hole.'
Staff tried to clarify, but she kept saying, 'It’s just a hole, a black hole!'
Finally realized she meant her private area. Mystery solved.
An OB trainee was great, but refused to talk about or offer contraception because of his religious beliefs.
Eventually, his bosses sat him down and said, "Nope, can’t do that - got laws to follow!"
A dad with zero experience was told by the doc, 'You’re delivering the baby.'
He panicked, but nurses scrubbed him up - and he helped bring his baby into the world. Talk about hands-on!
A nurse told a dad, “Don’t talk about how tired you are for a few weeks after labor.”
Apparently she’s heard enough of that to warn him upfront. Fair enough!
A midwife shared a story of a dad who asked her to hurry the birth along because the championship footy game was about to start.
Yep, true story.
Apparently, this dad wanted to know when baby would open its eyes, like a puppy or kitten.
The doctor’s face says it all.
During an emergency c-section, husband stared wide-eyed at the placenta. Asked, "What is THAT?"
The doctor, without missing a beat, held it up and said, "I don’t know, what IS this?"
Priceless moment.
The OB/GYN had to tell couples they were using the wrong hole for baby-making.
These were traditional couples who thought that was sodomy. Awkward for everyone!
Mom found out she was HIV positive because her husband, who’d had it for years, never told her.
Five years of unprotected sex with zero discussion. Oof.
During delivery, med student proudly says, “It’s a boy!” then catches himself and blurts, “Boy a girl!!”
Let’s just say, no one was fooled but they got a good laugh.
A devoutly religious woman who wanted to stay a virgin had a baby via IVF.
Virgin mom, baby on board. Such a rare story!
Husband kept wife calm during epidural by saying, “Hey, Pirates of the Caribbean is out tomorrow!”
She was definitely distracted!
Woman miscarrying in hospital lobby, crying in pain.
Husband tells her to stop moaning - he’s embarrassed. Also asks staff to watch his kid while he goes for a smoke.
Yikes.
I told my boyfriend we should prep and freeze meals post-birth.
He thought I meant pureed baby food for ME, not regular meals for us. How do you mix that up?
Mom needed a private exam, and husband asked if there was another way other than the doctor putting fingers inside her.
Umm... that’s kind of the point of the exam, dude.
Pregnant teen was sure she wasn’t pregnant. Her boyfriend assured her kicking his balls a lot meant no baby could happen.
Science begs to differ.
A couple was trying for a baby but never got pregnant.
Turns out, the man only rubbed himself on the outside and smeared stuff on her belly.
The doctor had to school them on how it actually works.
A very traditional woman was terrified the baby wasn’t hers.
Her husband’s faithfulness? Doubtful in her mind, which made for a tough convo.
Luckily, diagrams helped with the explanation.
Young girl showed up with pregnancy symptoms and a positive test.
She was shocked despite being sexually active with no protection.
Someone definitely needed the sex ed memo.
One dad begged for tighter stitches 'down there'. Another one kept wandering the halls in just his underwear!
Nurses were not amused, but we sure got a show.
After a long home birth, dad asked if midwives wanted pizza.
Midwives said it was the first time they'd been offered food, but declined.
So much for the pizzarino!
Pregnant woman said the bleeding color was like 'what’s still on his chin.'
Nurse kept poker face while quietly running out to tell the unit.
During induction, dad brought his PS4 and played Spider-Man.
When asked if he wanted to help, he said, “Nah, she got this.”
We see you, gaming dad.
Guy genuinely believed birth was a massive orgasm for women and how they push babies out.
He thought it felt amazing.
Yeah... no.
Couple went for infertility help only to find out they weren’t actually going all the way.
Spoiler: that’s kinda why no pregnancy yet.
Black babies can look white when born.
More than one black dad has had a very confusing moment in the delivery room.
Male partners love to joke, “Put another stitch in, will ya?” after birth.
Midwives get super annoyed by this every time.
Dad jokingly asked if he could chew the cord during delivery.
Doc said sure - and after a rough delivery, told dad to get to it.
He passed.
Mom gave birth in the car while still wearing pants to stay modest.
Baby and placenta just ‘chilling’ in her pants during the whole thing.
It was bizarre but mom and baby were fine.
After surgery, boyfriend’s main question was “When can we have sex again?”
Yep, that was right after hearing about recovery and hospital stay.
A white couple had a black baby.
Mom’s look said it all, and nurses witnessed that priceless moment.
Poor dad was completely unprepared!
Tech asked if it hurt during intercourse, woman explained husband doesn’t put it in at all.
She pointed at her belly button while saying ‘no here’.
Tech had to call the doc and admit patient’s problem.
Note read: “Husband concerned about wife’s weight gain.”
Problem? She was actually underweight.
During delivery, dad said “Holy cow,” passed out, hit his head, and was admitted.
Wife got discharged before him. Guess he needed the hospital more.
Wife had a huge belly bulge.
Husband said “Go to the gym.”
Turns out it was a whopping 20cm tumor, not exercise related.
Woman had two fully functioning uteri.
Pregnant in the one not showing.
She barely showed signs and thought it was wild but was chill about the surprise.
Dads always ask for an 'extra stitch' or to 'make it tighter' after delivery.
Doc’s usual reply? “How small do you want it, sir?”
Sometimes, nervous dads ask if docs “do this often”!
Paramedic story: 14-year-old virgin delivers a newborn.
She was positive she wasn’t the mom.
Baby survived, but that story? Unforgettable.
A very religious couple struggled to conceive.
Mom was actually intersex and afraid husband thought he’d been with another man.
It was a tough, emotional sitch for everyone.
Helping deliver a young woman’s baby.
New dad was older and his reaction? “Eh.”
Mom and staff were all excited; his reaction was a shrug.
After c-section and pain meds, mom was itching bad.
Dad asked what to scratch.
She yelled: “My BUM you idiot! If you’d unloaded there, we wouldn’t have this mess!”
Nurses nearly lost it laughing.
Neonatal nurse story: First-time dad so excited he almost tripped over things in the OR.
Kept trying to take pictures instead of letting staff do their job.
Adorable but distracting!
Labor and delivery teaching: breaking baby’s shoulder is sometimes necessary.
Student asked: Why don’t you just break the mom’s hip?
Good question, bad idea.
Female OB/GYNs get asked, “When is the doctor coming?”
Even though name tag says "Doctor."
Men, please pay attention.
Men frequently ask midwives to “make it tighter” or refuse breastfeeding because they think breasts are just for them.
Came across couples who couldn’t conceive because they were ‘using the wrong hole.’
Midwife life is wild.
Orthodox mom goes into labor on Shabbat.
Husband can’t drive, so they take a taxi.
Baby crowns en route, husband runs around like crazy when they arrive.
He just didn’t know what to do.
During labor, dad was focused on selfies and Instagram.
Not helping wife.
When prompted, he said, “She’s got this.”
While standing bedside with pregnant partner, teen boyfriend said, “I’m not the father, I’m the boyfriend.”
Family drama alert.
My dad didn’t know what a clitoris was until 25.
Surprisingly, he was the one who initiated the divorce later.
Military guy went on deployment.
Wife got pregnant while he was gone.
He got blocked from the base during labor because they were divorcing.
Mom was delivering twins, including a breach.
All the staff tended to dad because he had a headache.
Classic dad move, right?
Two women in labor with the same dad at the same time.
Dad kept going back and forth to get yelled at by both.
Talk about multitasking!
One guy straight up asked if his girlfriend had been sticking tuna down there.
Why? No clue.
We’re all scratching our heads.
During labor, husband asked if pushing could wait until he used the bathroom.
Glad he asked!
Day after hysterectomy, wife asked if husband could still go down on her.
Son was there.
Awkward!
OB is wild because it’s rarely life-threatening.
Sometimes, religious husbands’ beliefs clash with female doctors.
Brilliant women face serious sexism here.
During labor, husband said, “You can do it, the head isn’t that big!”
Wife told him to go f*** himself.
And nurses weren’t exactly amused either.
During c-section, boyfriend said, “Smells like carne asada.”
Doc’s friend joked, “He’s banging her.”
Mom wasn’t loving that one.
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