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Alright, let’s jump straight into some of the craziest first date moments people spilled online. Whether it’s weird vibes, major red flags, or just straight-up ridiculousness, these stories will have you saying, "Wait, what?" and maybe laughing - or running the other way.
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I made a little joke while we were chatting, and he suddenly raised his hand and asked, ‘Do you want the front or back side?’ Yep, that was my cue to grab my stuff and bounce. No more jokes about slaps after my last rough relationship - ever!
He was 15 minutes late, texting he’d be an hour late, but I waited ’cause hey, pizza was on the table. When he showed up, he said, ‘We gotta leave now, I'm double parked,’ and tried to drag me to his car for a smoke session. Nope, I nipped that in the bud, found an exit, unmatched him, peace out!
We were chatting when he casually put his hand around my neck and squeezed a bit. So I matched his squeeze, but harder. Guess who freaked out? Yeah, that vibe was totally off - especially in broad daylight, in public!
He was funny and smart, and we even hit up a comedy show. Then he slapped my behind so hard I stumbled. Like, legit ouch! He laughed about it, but I just walked right out. Boom, shortest date ever.
This date was going well until he said I never put my drink down or let him refill it. Talk about some weird control issues!
He invited me to his business place, which was packed like a hoarder’s dream, and then tried to get me to hang out in his creepy basement. Nope. I grabbed coffee instead and he hit me with, “You’d look good in a dog collar.” Yeah, I sprinted from there.
He said, ‘I guess you’re white enough’ when I told him where I’m from (spoiler: I totally am). Then he ordered for me - a salad because ‘women should watch what they eat’ - plus the priciest wine, then tried to control how much I drank. Oh, and he asked if I was vaccinated so his kids wouldn’t ‘get autism.’ I had a waiter help me escape like a spy.
He wouldn’t take no for an answer during a movie date and got hands all over me. I made a quick ‘bathroom break’ and just walked out the front door. Seriously, no thanks!
He told me a 'funny' story about drunk folks leaving his job, crashing their car with a kid inside, then laughed about it crashing. When I asked if he had empathy, he said, ‘I don’t even know what that means!’ I walked out faster than you can say ‘weird.’
I offered to get her a drink, and she said, ‘No, it’s 2018 - I can get my own.’ Cool. Then she sat down and declared I had five minutes to entertain her, or it’s over. Five minutes? Okay, I’m outta here!
He joked he’d beat me up for free. Then casually told me he’d grab me by my ponytail, send me to the hospital for facial surgery, and that I’d fall in love with him because no one else would want me. I laughed nervously, made an excuse, and walked out. Yep, nope, nope.
We sat down for lunch when a family came in including a man wearing a Kippah. She dropped an anti-Semitic bombshell right there, expecting me to agree. I slammed some cash down and walked out. What a shocker.
He hogged the chat for 1.5 hours boasting about every single WW2 tank and the tactical mistakes of Germany. I wanted to run when he claimed he could have won the war himself. Yeah, no thanks.
I mentioned my childhood pet and he went on and on about a cat named Miso. Problem? I never said it was a cat or gave the pet’s name! He stalked my old social accounts years deep. Nope, blocked and ran.
Five minutes in, he says, ‘My dog bites people, so you gotta be cool with that or no future.’ I paid for my wine and walked right out. Yep, dealbreaker!
One guy just talked non-stop about how amazing he was. Another told his family I was ‘the one’ before I even agreed. Newsflash: I’m not!
Thought we liked the same food, then she drops that she’s vegan and didn’t actually intend to eat anything there. It was some secret test, apparently. I took off to a hockey game. Priorities!
He bragged about dating all kinds of ethnicities but never mine - like I was some prize to collect. Yeah, no thanks, I’m not a Pokémon!
She screamed at the waiter because her salad had croutons, claiming ‘severe gluten allergy’ while shoving garlic bread in her mouth. I just dropped a fat tip and left that poor guy to deal with it.
She spent almost the entire date chatting nonstop about her ex, not to reflect but to offload. I was like, ‘Yep, I’m done here.’
Texting was fine, but when he picked me up he barely talked and after eating in his car, he asked, ‘Back to mine?’ with a creepy grin. I bolted and walked home fast.
Five minutes into the date, he drops ‘Music is evil.’ Yeah, that’s... not a great icebreaker.
He told me he didn’t have kids and didn’t want any. Mid-date, he drops he has five kids. Plot twist! #HonestyIsKey
Met her for ice cream but halfway through I realized every pic she sent was a filter. She showed up looking totally different, so I waved bye-bye fast.
He knew I had allergies but instead of just chatting, he pulled out pills and insisted I take them on the spot. Creepy much? I backed out quick.
He admitted he was married but thought I was ‘just a fling’ and it was all cool. Spoiler: it wasn’t lucky for me.
He told me he cut short seeing his kid just to make time for our date. Sweet? Or sketchy? I’m not sure.
He ran away from pigeons, had to sit facing the room like a scared cat, asked me to eat faster or he’d get food envy, then went on and on about his ‘crazy’ ex. Wild first date, right?
I casually mentioned my old pet, and later found out he’d stalked my social media from over a decade ago, even when my old account had hardly any info. Scary much? I blocked him everywhere.
He had the worst breath I’d smelled in forever and wanted to get close. I faked an emergency and ran for fresh air. Crisis averted!
About an hour in, she said she didn’t get guys thinking $30,000 is enough for an engagement ring. That was my cue to exit stage left. She ended up marrying a friend of mine anyway. Lucky him!
Early on, he told me I should lose 20 pounds to be a model and offered to train me. Then a guy yelled at me for eating a messy sandwich with a knife and fork. Definitely control freaks. I bounced.
She spent dinner trying to recruit me into a weird spiritual group that healed injuries ‘with friendship.’ She even tried to sell me a $200 mind-opening course. I politely declined and never looked back!
I was on a lunch date with a college buddy when he told me he was in a vampire coven and wanted me to join him as a vampire forever. That’s when I knew it was time to say goodbye.
She showed up with a ruled notebook and took notes on me like a college lecture. When I asked why, she said it was to reference later - listing other guys too. I finished my drink and peace out.
Second date started okay but he kept bragging about his PhD and shouted over me in public, arguing about politics like a storm. I laughed, dropped a tip, and left. Drama is not date material.
On a blind date, he said the only reason he agreed was because our mutual friends told him I was a virgin. That did NOT make for a romantic vibe!
When I asked what tattoo she got, she replied, ‘A tattoo, duh,’ like I was slow. That was my cue to say goodbye.
He bragged about defrauding banks and said he’d soon be richer than Bill Gates. Bold claim or worst first date ever? You decide.
He blew his nose hard right at the table with a stiff, green napkin. And he was a doctor! I said, ‘That’s disgusting,’ and left immediately.
She talked nonstop about wanting a man who makes tons of money and pays for everything, while she spends her own money as she pleases. When I shared my goals, she shot them down hard. Not a match!
She made racist Asian stereotype jokes that felt serious, not funny. My profile even said I was half-Japanese. College was weird, y’all.
He ordered 10 shots of tequila early in the evening. Not sure if that was excitement or a red flag, but yikes!
She was twice as big as her photos made her look. I was kind enough to hang out but yeah, catfish alert and trust gone.
He talked for 45 minutes straight about railroad history - like full-on expert mode - and didn’t let me get a word in. I finally said thanks but no thanks and left.
She was a racist corrections officer who ate all the nachos before the meal showed up. I sneaked out via the bathroom and never looked back.
She bragged about baiting men into hitting her. That wasn’t a story I wanted to hear on a date.
He said he could watch a body get woodchipped and feel nothing. Then spoiled a huge TV plot twist. I drove around for 45 minutes on the phone just to make sure he wasn’t following me. No second date, ever.
She was glued to her phone, texting nonstop like I wasn’t even there. Hard to vibe like that.
She unleashed her whole life story of trauma in the first three minutes. Couldn’t finish my drink - I snuck out ASAP.
Her ‘friend’ showed up at dinner, which later I found out was her ex trying to start a fight. Wish I left sooner!
She invited me to her house but her mom called me her future husband nonstop. Dad was couch-bound and the place smelled funky. She was way too touchy-feely and I made a quick exit saying I felt sick.
He kept bragging about how many other matches he had on another dating app for music lovers. Basically saying he had tons of options if I wasn’t good enough. Buzzkill!
We had a blast chatting until she took out her hearing aids and couldn’t actually hear me all night. Then came the blindfolded apartment tour, the bug spray cleanup panic, and the shocking confession: she owned no towels. That’s when I ran for the hills.
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